A New Orleans Beginning
by Madwrites
Summary: Tris dies at the Bureau and almost a year later Tobias is still devastated. But what happens when he goes to a restaurant and a familiar face is the waitress ?
1. chapter 1

**Disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

Tobias POV

It's been 49 weeks and 5 days since she was gone. 49 weeks and 5 days since I lost her indefinitely. People tell me it's time to move on. Time to find someone else to make me happy. They don't understand that she was my happiness, she was my everything.

Being in Chicago is suffocating. Everything reminds me of her. From the chasm to Christina, everything that surrounds me is related to her.

Knocking interrupts my thoughts.

"Tobias, it's Evelyn!" , I hear from the other side of the door. Since Tris died I've tried to slowly reconnect with my mother, but not enough for her likings.

I walk up and open the door.

"Good morning Tobias, I have some news for you. And don't even try to get out of it because I will drag you there kicking and screaming."

I stare at her blankly. Good luck with that, I think.

"I found this girl and she is just gorgeous. I made reservations for y'all at The Rock. Before you get upset, know that I'm doing this for you. You need to move on and find someone who is actually deserving of you"

Is she serious? I know my face shows my feelings but the look on her face.

"Tob—", she begins.

"Just stop. I've told you over and over that I still love Tris and I always will. Stop trying to change my mind."

"Bu—"

"I said no."

 **OKAY SO THIS IS MY FIRST FANFICTION AND I WOULD LOVE TO HERE FROM YOU GUYS! I WILL UPDATE EVERY TWO DAYS OR AS SOON AS I GET TWO REVIEWS! RR :)**

 **-M**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Tris POV**

I can feel another one coming on. The migraines have been consistent ever since I woke up about 8 months ago. The doctors said it was my brain's way of handling the missing pieces of my life.

Close to 8 months ago, I woke up in a hospital having no idea who I was or what I was dong there.

-*FLASHBACK*-

My head hurts.

I try to open my eyes but feel like they are sewn shut. I can't move anything and my body feels like it's filled with lead.

What the hell?

I lay there for what feels like hours trying to move my hand. I need to feel a little bit of control or I know I'm going to panic. That's when I feel pressure on my hand. Is someone holding it? Where the hell am I?

I need to open my eyes. I try to stay calm and focus on my eyes. Come on, come on!

After what seems like forever, I give up. Then, like they have a mind of their own, my eyes open.

I'm greeted with bright lights and the sounds of people talking loudly. As my eyes become adjusted, I see everyone in the small room I'm in frantically rushing around, yet all of their attention seemed to be focused on me.

I begin to try to speak but am shocked at how dry my mouth is.

"Don't try and talk", a female doctor that looks around middle-age says to me.

"My name is Dr. Eyebs. I'm going to ask you a series of questions but I want you to answer with only a nod or shake of your head, okay?

I nod my head slowly.

"Do you know your name?", she asks me.

I go to nod my head but then stop myself. I do know my name right? I sit there thinking about it, but end up shaking my head. How do I not know my own name?

Dr. Eyebs looks concerned.

"Okay, do you know what year it is?"

I think back, but have no memory of anything, much less what year it is. I shake my head again.

"Do you know who Matthew Henry is? You can take a second to think about it, but don't be frustrated if you can't"

I sit there for a second but I know for a fact that I have no memory of a Matthew. I shake my head.

"Okay ma'am, although we were worried this would happen, we were not 100% sure. You have an extreme case of amnesia that was most likely cause by the serum we used to save you. When you were brought to the hospital, you had been in an incident, leaving you almost lethally injured. "Do you have any memory of this incident?"

I'm so shocked that it takes me a minute to respond. I have amnesia? What kind of incident could I of been in? I look at the doctor and shake my head, answering her question.

"I didn't think so. Other than the amnesia, we were able to heal your body of the injuries it had sustained while you were in a medically induced coma. These inclu-"

A coma? How long was I in a coma? Wait, how old am I? She must of noticed the look on my face because she pauses.

"You were in the coma for around 4 months. We had to wait until most of your injuries had healed so when you woke up, you wouldn't be into much pain."

I look around for some paper and something to write with. She must understand what I'm doing because she asks one of the nurses to bring me some.

As soon as I get it I write, **How old am I?**

"We believe you are around 17 years old"

 **What happened to me? What kind of incident was I in?**

She shoots the nurses a nervous look.

"We were told you were in a car accident turned shooting. You were in your car when another car T-Boned you. The drivers exited their car immediately and tried to flee the scene. When they saw that you were still alive, they shot you so that you wouldn't be able to identify them. They had been driving a stolen vehicle that had a variety of stolen items and drugs"

As I start to write down another question, I think back to when she asked me about a Matthew Henry.

 **Who's Matthew Henry and why did you ask me about him?**

She smiles at me kindly. "He's the young man that brought you in." She gives me another sweet and smile and says, "He seems pretty smitten over you. I'll send someone to go get him, he has been trying to get in here since you began to wake up".

She goes to leave but then turns around.

"By the way", she says. "You should be able to be released by tomorrow afternoon".

I write down a messy thank you, and she leaves the room.

-*FLASHBACK END*-

I've lived with Matthew ever since. He told me that my family had died in the year prior and that I moved in with him because at 16, I was still to young to live on my own. I learned that I was born and raised in New Orleans and that Matthew and I have know each other since I was 4 and he was 7.

I still don't remember anything about my life before the accident. Every once in awhile after I got back from the hospital, I would question if Matthew was really telling me the truth. I didn't have any reason not to trust him so I never voiced these thoughts, but I just feel like there's a part of me missing. The doctors told me that there's a good chance my memories would come back if I went back to my old routine, and according to Matthew I have, but something deep down inside tells me something isn't right and that I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts, but that just makes the headache worse. I grab a water from my backpack and take a few tylenols. I cross the street and start walking towards the restaurant/bar I work at called Sparkys. It is one of the most popular venues in New Orleans and is almost always packed. I got this job around 4 months after the accident. Matthew was furious and said that I wasn't ready to go back to work, but I knew that it was just because he doesn't like me leaving the house.

Before I got this job, every time I went out Matthew insisted on coming with me. He would make me wear big glasses and hats and even went as far as trying to make me wear a wig. Eventually, I had had enough and blew up. He went on to say that he just didn't want anyone associated with the shooting recognizing and coming after me. I called BS on that because everyone involved in the shooting had been arrested. The argument got so bad that I ran out of the apartment to the walking trail and pond across the street.

When he found me, I refused to go back unless he let off of me. I told him that he couldn't keep me shut up in the house out of fear. He reluctantly agreed and I've had this job since about a week after that.

Matthew has been a little more tolerable since then, but still tries to make me wear the glasses. Whenever he is with me, he is always looking over our shoulders and acting like someone might notice me. I can't help but think he is trying to hide me from something. Or someone.

I shake my head again lightly and approach the steps to Sparkys. I walk in ready to work, but still carrying the feeling that I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

* * *

 **Okay so I am so much happier with this chapter than I am with the first one. I think I was just so excited to be writing this fanfic that I rushed it without an actual plan. I didn't even wait to use my computer, I just typed it in my phone and published it. I am extremely happy with the way this chapter turned out tho and hope you guys enjoy it! I am so appreciative of the reviews I have received so far and am so so thankful for everyone who has taken the time to read this story. It makes my heart so happy! :') I am super excited about writing this! Please review and let me know your opinions so far. If I get up to 12 reviews, I will update tomorrow. If not, i will stick to be original schedule of every other day. R &R !**

 **-M**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent:(**

 **Tobias POV**

The nerve of that woman. I understand that she never really liked Tris, but trying to set me up with some random girl isn't going to help me get over her.

Like that's even possible.

I need to get out of here and clear my head. Since I came back to Chicago it's seems that I need to clear my head a lot.

Probably because there's little I can accomplish knowing that I'm never going to see her again.

I head out of the apartment building in the Dauntless sector and begin to run.

When I first started to really get into running, I used it as therapy. It gave me a time of solitude where I could think about her without seeing the pity in everyones eyes. I hate it when they do that.

Now, people usually don't look at me like that anymore. People that arn't close to me probably think "Hey, it's been almost a year. He's over her by now"

But the few people that I have managed to stay close to (mainly by force) know better. They know I'm still in as much pain now a year later, as I was the day I found out she died. They understand that I sti-

"Tobias!", a voice says interrupting me from my thoughts.

I look up to see Zeke. After everything that had happened with Uriah, I thought that I had lost him forever. But I think that after Tris died, he tried to forgive me. Even if he only started because Tris and Uriah were best friends, I know that he has truly forgiven me now.

"What's up, Zeke?"

"I know that your on one of your Tris runs, so sorry to interrupt bu-"

I wince. Even though I tried to find somewhere I could be alone to run, Christina found me a couple months ago running with a so called "look" as she called it. She just could tell that this is when I could think about her without anyone bothering me. Since then everyone calls them my Tris runs and if they ever see me on one (which is rare), I'm usually not bothered.

Usually.

" _But_ I have something pretty important to tell you about"

I stare at him blankly.

"Thanks for the enthusiasm, buddy", he says with a smirk.

I begin to run again and I can feel him running beside me.

"You're not going away, are you?"

"Nope", he says popping the p.

"Fine, then tell me your "pretty important news" so can finish my Tri- err my run"

He smirks at me again.

"So as I was saying, I do really need to tell you something. So don't flip out bu-"

Why do people keep telling me not to flip out? Sure I can get irritated easily, but I'm not really around people enough to have a reputation of flipping ou-

My thoughts are again interrupted by Zeke when he blurts out, "You're coming with us to New Orleans. I already have your ticket, so there's no getting out of it".

"What do you mean we're going to New Orleans? Why the hell would we go there?"

If he thinks he's getting me on one of those flying death traps, he has another thing coming.

"Man, I told you not to flip out", he says.

"I'm not flipping out. I am perfectly calm"

"Yeah, because your fists that are clenched so tight I'm surprised you still have hands shows that you are perfectly calm".

Well, he's gotta point there. I stop running and sit down on an old park bench. Zeke follows in suit.

"Why are you wanting to go to New Orleans?", I ask sipping from my water bottle.

"Actually the whole trip is kind of based around you. I know you don't want to hear this, and by no means do I think you should just forget about Tris and move on, but you're suffocating here T. You can try to hide it and avoid everyone and just stay locked up in your apartment, but it's not getting you anywhere. She wouldn't want you to stay holed up and isolate yourself. She wants you to be happy. So we're all taking a trip to somewhere far away from Chicago where you can let loose and breathe a little. You might be able to enjoy yourself if you're in a new place that doesn't have her attached to it. And it's not like we're moving or anything. Just taking a much needed vacation."

I sit there for a moment considering. I don't want to be a douche and say no to a trip my best friend planned for me, but I feel like being somewhere without memories of her will make it that much real that she's gone and not coming back. It'll probably just make me think if her more.

I sigh. But then a part of his speech becomes more apparent.

"Who's we?"

He looks at me sheepishly.

"We includes you, me, Shauna, Cara, and Christina"

I look down. Maybe I should do this. Maybe it would be good for me to tr-

"And Caleb and Peter", he blurts out.

"What'd you just say?", I hiss.

"Look man, Peter took the memory serum so he's not the same uncivil kid from back in Dauntless. And whether you like it or not, now that Shauna and Cara are close, Caleb's gonna be around more often because he's dating Cara. And besides, he's helping Shauna begin to walk again".

"I don't know, Zeke"

"Just think about how happy it would make her to know that you're trying to be happy again, even if you're going a little out of your comfort zone to go on this trip"

I scoff. A little?

"I know you miss her, and she will forever be someone extremely important to you, but she wouldn't want you to be like this. Besides, it's not like were going to find you a new girl. We're going to go and just have a good time. So in the words of Uriah, stop being a pansycake and just do it", he says with a hopeful smile.

I really hope I don't regret this.

"Fine, when do we leave?", I mumble out.

Zeke jumps off the bench and pumps his fist in the air.

"We leave in two days for two and a half weeks!", he says excitedly.

Now I just have to get over the idea of flying high in the air for almost 2 and a half hours. What am I getting myself into?

* * *

 **And to New Orleans he goes! I know I said that I would only post this today if I got a certain amount of reviews, but I don't see a point in having a finished chapter but not posting it. I am actually pretty happy with this chapter as well. It can be pretty challenging writing in Tobias' POV but I'm happy with how this turned out. YOUR REVIEWS ARE SO HELPFUL AND HEARTWARMING. Please let me know what ya think! (:-M**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Tris POV**

It's almost 9 o'clock and I've been working for almost 4 hours. I really enjoy working here, or maybe I just enjoy the space away from Matthew. Who knows?

I'm working at the bar tonight and since it's a Friday, the place is packed. I'm usually working as a waitress because of my age, but they were shorthanded tonight. The owner must not of thought it was too big of a problem because the legal age to work in a bar in New Orleans is 18, and I'm only a month away from turning it.

"Hey pretty thing, can ya get me another pilsner?", a man sitting in my section hollers. He seems to be in his late twenties and is sporting so many tattoos that I can barely see any skin.

Oh yeah and did I mention that the customers are usually men trying to escape the reality of the work week? Fridays are always the worst. They usually go for the older, prettier bartenders though. Not that I mind.

I can't really complain though. One of my good friends Carter works here with me and she keeps me good company. The owner has her work the bar a lot though because she is legally old enough. It also helps that her flirty personality and perfect features sells quite a few drinks.

I give the man a tight smile.

"Sure thing", and with that I try to clear my mind and get back to work.

XXX

When I finally get home, Matthew is up and waiting for me, even though it's to the closer part of 1 AM. Not a surprise though, he always waits up for me, no matter how many times I tell him not to.

I sigh quietly.

"How was work?", he asks me coming up to hug me.

I tense as he wraps his arms around me. He has a way of making such a simple gesture uncomfortable and awkward.

"It was fine, just the usual I guess", I reply swiftly.

"Hmph", he mumbles as he stares at me for a moment.

"Where are your glasses?", he asks me suddenly.

I roll my eyes and walk away from him. His constant tendency to try and make sure I'm hiding my face is exhausting and downright annoying.

"Hmmm, I don't know Matthew. I wonder why I'm not wearing sunglasses IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!", I say exasperated. He has no right to treat me like he owns me when he is just a family friend I'm staying with until I'm old enough to be on my own.

It's only 3 months away breathe Bea. You can do this; just remain calm.

"I don't understand why you won't just do what I ask of you!", he yells at me. "I ask very little of you and have always been there for you!"

Welp, so much for staying calm.

"Because you don't own me Matthew! I am so grateful for you taking me in after my parents died and taking care of me after the accident, but I am almost 18 and can make my own choices. You act like I'm out smoking pot and partying, when in reality you're throwing a fit about me not wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night! What are you so afraid of, huh? You've been trying to make me alter my appearance for a solid 8 months now! What are you trying to hide me from? Everyone involved in the shooting is gone and I'm not in any danger! Wh-"

"Because I am the adult Beatrice!", he screeched at me. "And I have to make decisions that you don't underst-"

"Don't you dare pull that card with me!", I scream at him. I'm officially furious. "You are three years older than me. Three! You don't get to make decisions for me, and I won't let you force one more stupid disguise on me. I'm done letting you dictate what I do".

"I don't dictate what yo-"

"You don't even let me go to school! I have to fight and argue for you to let me out of the house long enough to go to work! You're hiding something from me and I'm over it"

He sighs and just looks at me.

"I'm sorry, Bea okay? You know I hate it when you're mad at me, but you have to understand that I do everything for a reason. I just want to keep you safe, that's it".

"It feels more like you're trying to keep me hidden", I mumble to myself.

He must of heard me because he says, "Think that if you want, but I'm not going to let them find you. I got you and now I'm not going to let you go. You're too important to me".

He takes a step towards me.

"What do you mean? Who's going to find me?"

He goes white and mumbles something under is breath.

"The people from the shooting", he finally gets out. "I know you think they're all gone, but we just can't take that chance"

He takes a final step closer to me to where if I shifted forward just a centimeter, our noses would be touching. He grabs my hand and whispers, "I just can't loose you Bea".

He begins to lean in and I start to panic. Is he going to kiss me?

One more inch and his lips will be on mine...

I twist out of his arms and take a few steps back.

"Matthew, what are you doing? One second you're the adult and I'm just the child, and the next you try to kiss me?"

"Bea, you know I didn't mean that. I was trying to get my point across."

I stare at him blankly.

He sighs. "I think we should just go to bed. It's really late and you're tired from work".

I'm wide awake now that we've been screaming at each other for the last 10 minutes, but don't argue with him. I need a break from him anyway.

I turn on my heel and rush to my room. I swiftly change and dive into bed. Laying there, I think about everything that had just happened. Why would he try and kiss me? It's the first time he has ever tried anything like that, other than brief hugs and a couple of kisses on the head. I think back, but can't remember anything else.

Then my mind is pulled back to the day I woke up in the hospital. The doctor had said something along the lines of him being "smitten" with me. I guess with everything going on at the time I totally forgot about it. Still, he can't possibly think that he can just boss me around and then pull something like that.

But even if he wasn't so overbearing, I still don't think I would have feelings for him. He is extremely handsome and there's really nothing I have against him other than the obvious, but I just don't feel anything like that for him.

On the other hand, he has been there for me when no one else was. He's given me a place to stay and buys me anything I could ever really need. He's always there when I have a problem or need someone to talk to. Maybe I'm just not thinking right, a part of my brain tells me. I should just be thankful for everything he does for me and submissive when it comes to the disguises. Yet, then there's the other side of my brain that is telling me the complete opposite. I shouldn't have to deal with him treating me like a child and thinking he's in control of me.

My head begins to throb.

I probably have these headaches because my thoughts are constantly going at a million miles an hour.

I sigh and reach over to turn off my lamp.

* * *

 **Alrighty and here is Chapter 4! What did y'all think of Matthew? My original plan was for 4 Tris to at least get a glance at each other this chapter, but just couldn't get it to fit in. Because of this, they probably will start to interact either next chapter or the one after that. I'm probably just going to start posting everyday because I have the story more planned out now, even though this is the second chapter today lol. Please review, I appreciate everyone and as a new writer they give the boost of courage to continue and not give up. Thank you guys so much for reading :') RR**

 **-M**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **disclaimer/I do not own Divergent**

 **Tobias POV**

I can't believe I actually agreed to this. We're at the airport waiting to get on the flying deathtrap people like to call planes. What the hell was I thinking...oh yeah, I wasn't.

I sigh and shake my head. My hands are already beginning to shake and we haven't even boarded yet. This is gonna be a greeaaattt trip.

"Hey man, they're calling our flight", Zeke calls out to me.

I look up to see that everyone is already standing up and ready to board.

I take a deep breath and head to board the plane.

XXX

We've taken off and the pilot has informed us that we can now remove our seat belts.

Who in their right minds would actually take off their sea-

I glance up and my thoughts are interrupted by everyone unbuckling and walking around.

Right.

I'm actually pretty impressed with Zeke. He managed to book a private jet just for our group. He also went on to tell me that it's safer than a regular plane because it is so much smaller, and that it is much faster so we should be up in the air for less time. I think he was trying to calm my nerves, but to no avail.

I close my eyes and lean my head back. If I can fall asleep I can try to avoid the fact that I'm thousands of feet in the air.

After about an hour of trying, I give up on trying to go to sleep. I sigh quietly and shift in my seat.

A shuffling across from me causes my eyes to flitter up. Expecting Zeke, I'm shocked when I see Caleb sitting in front of me looking nervous. My face immediately hardens.

I see him wince in fear.

"Can I help you with something?", I ask him cooly.

"I just wanted to talk to you", he says meekly.

"About?"

"Just that I'm glad you agreed to come. I think that she would be proud of you"

I grit my teeth and spit out, "She should be here".

He glances down and says a quiet "I know".

I scoff.

"Look Tobias, I know you're still hurt over her death, so am I. And I'm her blood broth-"

"Don't you dare try and say that you are her family. You led her to her own execution and you think you can go around and say that you're her family?", I seethe at him.

He sighs. "You're right. I don't deserve to call myself that. I didn't even deserve to have her in my life at all. She was a blessing that my own ignorance caused me to lose. I know that nothing I say can make it better, but she wanted me to tell you that she didn't want to leave you. Before she", he pauses. "Before she went into the lab she begged me to make sure that you knew that. She really loved you".

"Yeah", I whisper. "I know".

"I just hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me. I was able to gain hers and hopefully eventually I'll gain yours".

I look up to the person in front of me. Even though he looks close to nothing like Tris, you can see the similarities in the way they act. Although Tris would never act as selfishly as he did, their intelligence is very similar. As much as I don't like it, he is a part of her and if she can forgive him for everything he did to her, it wouldn't hurt for me to try.

I sigh.

"I've blamed you for her death for so long that it'll be hard to just drop all of the hostility and forgive you, but I know that that's what she would want. So I'll try my best to be more civil towards you, but don't expect full on forgiveness".

He lowers his eyes.

"But, I'll try. For Tris".

He looks back up to me and gives me a grateful smile.

"Thank you Tobias"

And with that he walks back to Cara.

XXX

We're landing in New Orleans.

I grip the armrests so hard that my knuckles turn white and grit my teeth. If I thought taking off was scary, landing is petrifying.

I close my eyes and try not image the engine blowing up and the nose of the plane diving into the runway. I try to lower my breathing rate, but nothing's working. Eventually I just shut my eyes and think of Tris. She always could make me not focus on the fear when she was around. It was like all my senses were so drawn to her that it was impossible to focus on anything else.

When I open my eyes the plane has landed and Zeke is hollering at me to hurry up. I shake my head and gather my stuff. How is it possible that even just the thought of her can get me through one of my biggest fears?

"Tobias, let's go! I want to go make sure that all of my stuff is still in one piece at that bagge claim!", Christina shouts at me.

"Yeah, because heaven forbid one of your precious heels breaks in the bag", Peter says with a laugh.

"Not possible, I bubble wrapped each of them separately. That is not possible, right?", she asks worried.

Peter laughs again and they exit the plane.

I still am not sure how I feel about Peter being here, memory serum or not. Everything he did to Tris is still fresh in my brain.

Then again, all of my thoughts seem to have Tris in them anyway so it's not really a surprise.

I sigh and make a silent promise to Tris to at least try and enjoy myself.

I grab my things again and head out into New Orleans.

* * *

 **Chapter 5 complete! I'm getting excited because they are finally in the same city. It's only a matter of time before my favorite couple meets again :) Please let me know what you think ! Your reviews are so appreciated! R &R**

 **-M**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

 **Tris POV**

Getting up the next morning is a struggle. I lay in bed for close to 45 minutes going over the events from last night. If I was suspicious of Matthew before, I now have extreme doubts. Why won't he just tell me what he is so afraid of and the real reason he is trying to hide me away?

I sigh and get out of bed. Even though I don't have work today, I can't avoid Matthew forever.

I start into the kitchen keeping an eye out for him. We may need to talk, but it won't hurt to postpone it. Right?

"Bea! You're up. How'd you sleep?", I hear him ask innocently from the dining room table.

So much for postponing.

"Fine", I say curtly.

He sighs.

"Look, I owe you an apology. You were right about me trying to be in control of what you're doing. I just wanted to keep your face hidden to keep you safe, but I've realized that in the midst of trying not to lose you, that's exactly what I was doing."

I look up at him. I try to be mad but I can't. Although my feelings for him are far from romantic, he is still really important to me.

I give him a small smile.

"You've done so much for me Matt that I will always be thankful for you. But the disguises have to stop", I say assertively.

"As much as I wish you would still wear them, I get how they might have been a little frustrating."

I give him a look.

"Okay, maybe more than a little", he says with a smile. "Let me take you out to lunch to make up for my craziness lately".

I keep quiet. He may mean a lot to me, but that doesn't change the fact that I still don't really trust him.

"Please?", he begs with wide eyes.

"No wig?", I ask him.

"No wig", he confirms.

"No hats?"

"No. No hats."

"No glasses?", I ask with uncertainty. This was what we fought about last night.

He mumbles something incoherent.

"What was that?", I ask with a smirk.

"I said no glasses", he says with a roll of his eyes.

"Okay then. You mentioned something about a lunch?"

XXX

We've been at lunch for about half an hour and it's nice to just hang out with him without the hiding and disguises. It's like were just two friends hanging out and grabbing lunch. I smile down at my lap.

He notices and nudges me.

"What's that smile for?", he asks. "Am I so charmingly hilarious that you're smiling even when I'm not talking?"

I smirk at him.

"You wish!", I say snarkily. "No, I was just thinking that this is the first time since the accident that I've felt normal. No hushed whispers or uncomfortable wigs. Just us hanging out and talking like regular people".

"We are regular people Tri- err Bea. We just have to be a little procautionary for a while."

I stare at him for a moment. What was he about to call me?

"What did you say?", I ask him.

"What do you mean? We just have to be a li-"

"You said something before you said my name", I say interrupting him. "Like you were going to call me something else."

"Nope", he says popping the p. "I didn't say anything."

"Yes, you did! You said Tri- err Bea."

"Bea, I really didn't say anythi-"

"Matthew, please just tell me. It can't be that big of a deal", I say exasperatedly.

"It's not Bea. Really, I just wasn't paying attention and stuttered that's all", he tries to explain.

"Bu-", I begin but am interrupted by the waitress asking if we're ready for the check.

He nods and she gives it to us.

"Take your time", she says with a smile and walks away.

"Bea, please just drop it. I just stuttered; it was an accident."

I sigh and look down. Am I really becoming so paranoid that I'm freaking out over a stutter? Or, the other side of my brain says, if he's lying about why he tried to make you wear the disguises, he could be lying about who you are too.

I mentally face palm. I am officially loosing my mind.

I look back up to him.

"You're right", I concede. "I'm sorry, I think I may be taking over your paranoid role", I say trying to lighten the mood.

We stand up and he hugs me.

"Good luck with that!", he says as he jabs me in the ribs.

He pays the bill and we leave the restaurant laughing.

It's times like these that make me feel bad for ever doubting him. They may be few and far between, but when they do come I realize how lucky I am to have him.

"Did you have fun?", he asks me hesitantly.

"Of course I did! I love being able to go out and do things and laugh with you without having to worry about anything else", I say smiling.

He smiles with me and we continue walking home, talking about random things.

I'm talking to him about the new uniforms that they want us to wear at work when I look up and realize he's paying no attention to me. I follow his glance to see he's staring at a group of people across the street. There seems to be 4 guys and 3 girls and they're all standing in front of one of the shops laughing. I stop walking and try to get Matthew's attention.

"Matthew. Matthew.", I say shaking him gently.

Eventually I give up on being gentle and start snapping my fingers in front of his face.

"Matthew! What the hell is wrong with you?"

He starts to move his head towards me as I glance one more time towards the group. They're still laughing when one of the guys looks over to us. He's tall and lean, but muscular at the same time. His hair is a dark brown and his teeth are perfectly white. That's not what grabs my attention though. It's his eyes. They're a dark shade of blue.

His face goes slack when he sees me, almost as if in shock.

The next thing I know Matthew is half dragging half carrying me away from the group. I glance up one more time looking for those dark blue eyes, but we're too far gone.

* * *

 **What do y'all think? It took me a long time to write this chapter, especially the beginning, but I'm not horribly upset with the outcome. I'm glad that I was finally able to get to a point where I felt like them interacting was realistic. Let me know what you think! I honestly don't know what to tell you guys schedule wise. Sometimes I'll update twice a day and others just once. Just depends on the amount of support the story gets. Thank you guys so much for reading and the reviews. It means everything to me :) R &R**

 **-M**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **Disclaimer/ I don't own Divergent**

 **Tobias POV**

The drive from the airport is long and cramped. Living in Chicago my whole life, I had always thought that it was filled to the max with people and that it would be impossible for a larger quantity of people to exist at one time and place.

Apparently not.

When we first exited the plane, the comfortable scene of 6 or 7 people frantically became a couple hundred within seconds. Going from facing my fear of heights to the claustrophobia of being surrounded by random people was not my ideal way to start off the vacation.

I sighed and though about my promise I just had made to Tris. Only two and a half weeks Tobias, I thought. You can do this.

Zeke gave me an apologetic look. I shook my head at him insinuating that I was fine and we had headed to grab our bags.

Thinking about it now, I much rather be in a crowded airport than this crowded rental car. Add that to the fact that we were dumb enough to let Zeke drive. Not for the fist time since I agreed to come on this trip, I wonder exactly what I'm getting myself into.

Reaching the hotel takes another whole hour and a half. When we approach it, my body is aching to get out of this stupid car.

We unload our belongings with the help of the hotel staff and head to the elevators. We're all on the 5th floor and the arrangements worked out to where I'm in my own room.

We step onto the elevator, and as the doors close, I instantly start to panic.

Funny that even though I only have four fears, I seem to have been constantly facing them since we left for this trip.

I close my eyes until I hear the heavenly bing, and the elevator doors open. As soon as both of my feet are out, my body immediately relaxes.

"Okay guys, do y'all just want to go to our rooms, unpack and chill for awhile?", Zeke asks us.

"Yeah, that sounds good. We can meet up in like an hour or so to go to lunch and go to the cute little shops I saw on the way over here!", Christina says excitedly.

No one seems to object, so everyone nods their heads and leaves to their hotel room to settle down.

Honestly, I don't really care what they did. I was staying in my room for a little bit no matter what.

Way to be a team player, T.

XXX

I'm laying on my hotel bed when I hear an obnoxious knocking on the door. Trying to ignore it, I put my pillow over my head.

"Nice try T, but open the damn door", he yells through the door. I can hear the smirk in his voice. Douche bag.

I trudge to the door and swing it open.

A happy looking Zeke pushes past me and jumps onto the little couch in the corner before I even get the chance to say anything.

I shake my head and go to sit next to him.

"Come on in", I say sarcastically.

He just smirks at me.

I roll my eyes and ask, "And you're here why, again?"

"Can't I just swing by?"

I give him a look.

"Ha, okay. I'm just making sure you weren't already speeding back to the airport looking for the first flight back home."

I chuckle. "Yeah, well not yet."

"Yet?", he asks.

"Yet."

"Well, we're about to leave to go get lunch and let the girls go shopping. Christina won't stop yapping about it."

"This surprises you because...?", I ask him.

"Will you just grab whatever you need so we can go?", he says shoving my shoulder.

I mumble under my breath, but smile and grab my wallet.

XXX

We walk out of the restaurant laughing at Zeke as he tries to trick Shauna into talking to him, and head to the shopping center. He had made a remark about out how she couldn't last without talking to him. I don't really know where he was going with that. We all know she wouldn't let him challenge her like that. Christina on the other hand is basically herding us trying to make us go faster, but with all of the laughter, she doesn't get very far.

We're still laughing when we reach the entrance to one of the stores Christina saw on the drive up to the hotel. She immediately tries to make us calm down, but her tactics just make us laugh harder. Eventually, she gives up and joins in.

In the midst of my group's crazy antics, I feel as if someone is watching us. I glance around and don't see anything. I'm about to turn my head back to my friends when I see her. Standing next to some guy, I see the person who has been haunting my thoughts for almost a year. The person who I've been so hung up over, I didn't even want to leave my apartment. The person I was led to believe was dead.

Can it really be Tris?

The next thing I know I'm shoving Caleb out of the way and sprinting across the street to where she was. But when I get there, she's gone.

I run to the end of the street and look down the corner. Nothing.

No, no, no! Where is she? How is she alive? Who was that guy she was with? Did she see me? If she did, didn't she recognize me?

My head is swirling with questions as I frantically spin around in circles searching for just a glimpse of her golden hair, but find nothing.

"Tobias!"

I turn around but instantly know it's not her. Instead of Tris, it's Zeke shouting and running towards me.

"Tobias!", he pants out. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I saw her, Zeke!", I say exasperatedly. "She was right here, and then she was just gone! I have to find her."

I spin around, prepared to run blindly through city I have never been to.

Zeke grabs my shoulders and stops me.

"Who, T? Who did you see?"

"Tris! I saw Tris! One second she was standing right there and the next she was gone."

He sighs and looks up at me.

"Tobias, I hate to be like this, but Tris is dead. She's gone, okay? She's not coming back."

"Bu-", I try to start.

"No, T. Whoever you saw wasn't Tris. Maybe you saw a young woman with the same build and same blonde hair and your mind tricked you into thinking it was her, but it wasn't. I'm sorry T, but it was not Tris. She's gone."

The logical part of my brain knows he's right, but those eyes. Those were definitely Tris' eyes. Could my brain really be so cruel as to make it all up?

I sigh and push the heel of my hands into my eyes. I can't break down. Not here, not now.

"You're right. I'm sorry, I must of just been confused, but then the thought of her actually being here just took over my senses."

"I know, man. I know. Let's get back to the group though, okay?"

I nod my head and begin to follow him back down the street.

But not before I turn my head looking for her one more time.

* * *

 **Hehehe. What do y'all think? The last part was a lot of fun to write :P Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. It means the world :') Let me know what y'all think should happen next. I have two different ideas and want to see what you guys think is going to happen! R &R**

 **-M**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

 **Tris POV**

 _He starts to move his head towards me as I glance one more time towards the group. They're still laughing when one of the guys looks over to us. He's tall and lean, but muscular at the same time. His hair is a dark brown and his teeth are perfectly white. That's not what grabs my attention though. It's his eyes. They're a dark shade of blue._

 _His face goes slack when he sees me, almost as if in shock._

 _The next thing I know Matthew is half dragging half carrying me away from the group. I glance up one more time looking for those dark blue eyes, but we're too far gone._

* * *

"Matthew, what is going on? What are you doing?", I ask him trying to pull away from his strong grasp.

His doesn't let up though and continues to drag me down the street, checking over his shoulder every time we reach a corner.

My badgering him for information doesn't stop, but he ignores me.

When we finally reach the apartment, he shoves me through the door and rushes in after me.

He continues to ignore me as he slams the door shut and locks both locks on it.

When he finally turns around his face is stolid and his words are harsh.

"Head up to your room, Beatrice. I have things I need to get done."

He heads towards his office, but not before I jump in front of him.

I don't yell. I keep my voice cold and controlled.

"First of all", I say with a sneer. "Never tell me to go to my room like I am some 7 year old. You will not treat me like that. Second of all, if you think you can just go into some kind of a daze and then drag me home without saying a word, you have another thing coming. What the hell was that? And then you just want to send me off because you have things to get done? Are you kidding me, Matthew?"

My voice begins to rise.

"I'm so done with you and your bipolar attitude! I'm done with putting up with your crap. You will not treat me like this, do you understand me? You think you can just do whatever you want and boss me around like I'm your property! So let me tell you one thing. You are going to sit on that couch over there and tell me what the hell just happened. If not, I'm leaving. I don't care if I have to stay in a sketchy motel down in the south part of town. Do you hear me? I. Do. Not. Care. You're choice!", I yell at him.

He stares at me like he has no idea who I am. I can't really blame him though. I've never talked to him like that. Sure, I've yelled and tried to get my point across, but never have I actually threatened to leave.

"Beatrice, just calm down. I ju-"

"Stop calling me that.", I snap at him.

He rolls his eyes.

"I _just_ saw something, that's all. Besides, before you go talking to me like that you might want to actually think that through. I've done everything for you ungrateful brat."

I go to counteract him, but notice a weird look in his eyes. He's obviously been mad at me before, but not like this. He has never in my 8 months of memories looked at me like that.

He takes a step closer to me and I take a step back. This continues until my back is up against the wall.

"Matthew", I say shakily. "What are you doing?"

He looks straight at me.

He still has the strange look in his eye when I see his hand twitch.

The next thing I know I'm on the floor with a stinging face. Did he just hit me?

I look up and see he's staring at me with shock and guilt.

Oh my God.

"Bea, I'm so so so sorry. Please let me help you up", he says as he reaches towards me.

Is he out of his mind?

"Don't you dare touch me!", I spit at him through me teeth as I get to my feet. My face hurts more than I care to admit, but I won't show any weakness in front of him.

"Bea I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it I swear! I just lost control of my anger. I promise nothing like this will ever happen again. I promise! Please forgive me", he begs.

I don't meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry Bea, I really am. I'll do anything to prove it to you. I'm so so sorry. You mean the world to me. I have no idea what I would do without you."

I keep my gaze pointed at the door.

He sighs.

"I'm going to stay somewhere else tonight", he tells me.

This gets my attention. He's never left me at the house alone for more than an hour or two at a time.

I force myself to keep my eyes away from his.

"I need to go and come to terms with myself. I'll find a way to make up for what just happened. That I promise you."

He looks at me one more time and heads to the door. Right as he is about to open it, he turns to me.

"I only ask that you don't go anywhere tonight. We need our space from each other, but I can't have you out and getting hurt with no way for me to help you."

Did he really just say that HE needs to protect me from SOMEONE ELSE?

I find my courage and look up at him. His eyes are begging me to listen and forgive him.

Whatever smart remark I was prepared to say disappears when I see his eyes. What was a look of fury when I last looked at them has turned into a look of pleading.

"Fine", I say stiffly. "I won't leave."

He nods and says a soft, "I'm sorry, Bea." Then, he's gone.

I walk into the bathroom after sitting on the ground in the living room with my head in my hands for almost an hour. My thoughts are running a million miles and hour. I don't know what to do. I still can't believe he actually hit me. Will it ever happen again? Even if it doesn't, can I forgive him and just forget about it?

I don't remember the last time I cried, but as soon as I look in the mirror, I can't help myself. There's a dark purple bruise on my right cheek bone.

I sink to my knees and cry.

XXX

The next morning I sleep in until almost 11. The few seconds after I wake up are absolute bliss, just laying here in complete contemptment.

Then all of the memories from last night come flooding back.

I sigh and check the clock again. I work at 1 so I know I should start to get up, but I just can't do it. I've never felt as far away from home as I do right now, even though this is where I've been my whole life.

I have the sudden urge to cry again, but shake my head and flip my legs over the bed.

I take a shower and get ready in a pair of boyfriend jeans with rips in them and my work t-shirt. I look in the mirror and sigh. I need to cover up the bruise on my cheek but have no idea how. My makeup knowledge is very limited because I almost always refuse to wear it. The only make up I own is a small thing of mascara and a lip gloss.

That's not gonna help me.

I swallow my pride and move to the kitchen where the home phone sits.

"Carter? Hey, it's Bea. I need a favor."

XXX

I walk into work half an hour early. Carter is sitting in the break room with a bag that I could probably fit in if I curled up.

"Holy crap, Carter. Please tell me that not the whole bag is filled with makeup."

She smirks at me.

"Yeah that's what I thought", I sigh out with a smile.

I sit in front of her and she immediately pulls out her brushes.

"How'd you get this big of a shiner anyway?", she asks me.

"I tripped and hit my face on the corner of the counter", I say evasively.

I can tell she thinks I'm lying, but doesn't say anything. I sigh quietly in relief.

"Well don't worry. I should be able to cover it up."

"Thank you so much Carter. You're a lifesaver."

"Sure thing, sister. You know I've been dying to give you a makeover for months", she says with a wink.

20 minutes later I'm clocking into work with a bruise-free face. Carter's a miracle worker.

"Hey Bea!", I hear from behind me. I turn around to see Michael, the general manager, walking towards me.

"Hi Michael, how are you?", I ask as he gives me a hug.

"Good, good. I was hoping you could do me a favor."

"Of course, what's up?"

"One of the waiters called in sick, so I'm splitting up his tables. A party of 7 just came in and was sat in his section. Will you wait on them?"

"Sure thing!", I say with a smile. The last thing I want after the last 24 hours I've had is an extra table, but it's not like it's Michael's fault.

"Thanks, Bea. I really appreciate it."

I smile and head towards the new table of 7.

* * *

 **Wowowowowowowowow this chapter took sooooo long to write. It's the longest one yet. But I bet y'all can guess who the table of 7 is ;) What did you guys think of Matthew's reaction? How do you think Tobias will react when he sees who's waiting his table? Let me know what y'all think! R &R**

 **-M**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **disclaimer/ I do not own divergent**

 **Tobias POV**

 _"You're right. I'm sorry, I must of just been confused, but then the thought of her actually being here just took over my senses."_

 _"I know, man. I know. Let's get back to the group though, okay?"_

 _I nod my head and begin to follow him back down the street._

 _But not before I turn my head looking for her one more time._

* * *

We walk back to the group and I am met with strange looks.

"Man, what was that? One minute you were here and the next you were sprinting across the street", Peter says.

My face hardens.

"It was nothing. I just thought I saw something", I say bitterly.

If anyone doesn't believe me, they don't say anything.

"Well your back now, so can we please actually enter the shop?", Christina says annoyed.

Everyone nods and goes to enter the store.

"Umm, I'm actually going to head back to the hotel, but I'll see y'all when you get back", I say at the last minute. After seeing Tris, or someone I thought was Tris, the last thing I want to do is go shopping.

"Are you sure? We were still going to g-"

"I'm sure", I interrupt. I just need to get away from them before I completely break down.

"Okay man. I'll text you when we get back to the hotel", Zeke says.

"Thanks", I say swiftly and turn on my heel.

"Wait!", Shauna calls out. "How are you going to get back? It's kind of far to walk."

"I need the fresh air."

And with that, I leave them at the shop entrance.

XXX

The walk to the hotel takes about 30 minutes. I'm not exactly speed walking though because my head is so messed up. How is it possible for her to seem so real, but in reality be a figure of my imagination? It's not.

Right?

I approach the hotel and go straight to the stairs when I enter, ignoring the elevator completely.

When I get to my room, I shove the key into the lock and rush inside, slamming the door behind me. It's now, alone and behind closed doors, that I let the tears fall.

Any progress I had made with coming to terms with her death has completely been thrown out the window. It was her. She was here. My imagination couldn't of made her up. That long blonde hair that has grown out back to her original length was Tris'. Those stormy grey-blue eyes filled with life were Tris'.

I gather myself off the floor and the next thing I know I'm throwing the vase that was on the coffee table at the wall.

The tears begin to fall faster and I start to throw anything I can get my hands on.

The thoughts come faster and faster to where I have no control. I fall to the floor, alternating between sobbing and screaming her name.

I saw her. I saw her. I saw her.

But that's the thing.

I didn't see her.

Because she's gone.

And she's not coming back.

XXX

I must of fallen asleep because when I hear a knocking at my door, I'm still laying on the ground. I look at my watch and see that it's been 4 hours since I got to the hotel.

I stumble my way to the door and open it to find Zeke.

"Hey T, there you are. I've been trying to text you to te-"

He stops as he takes in my appearance.

The next thing I know, he's pushing past me into my trashed room. He looks at the room, and then at me, and then back to the room.

He sighs.

"Tobi-"

"No, Zeke. I don't want to hear the whole "she's gone" and "it wasn't her". I know, okay? I know", I say defeated.

"I was just going to say that everything that happened to Tris shouldn't of happened. Not to her and not to you. Y'all deserved better than what you got. And I'm sorry that you're still in so much pain and that I don't know how to help you."

I look up at him and give him a small smile.

"Thanks, Zeke."

He smiles at me before saying, "Okay enough of the girl talk. Let's clean this pigsty up before the housekeeping finds it like this and has us kicked out."

I laugh at his antics and stand up. I don't fell better though. Not at all. But if Zeke went through all of the trouble to plan this trip and then try to comfort me, the least I can do is to pretend to not be hating every second of it.

XXX

The next morning everyone is supposed to meet downstairs in the lobby for breakfast, yet I cannot force myself out of bed. My whole night was filled with dreams of Tris. About her being alive and and me finding her here.

I sigh and shake my head. Throughout the year since she die, I've always had a small flame of hope that she wasn't actually dead. It had slowly be dwindlying. The events from yesterday caused it to skyrocket and then almost deminish completely.

Almost.

Even though I know she's gone, I also know that no matter what, I will always have a twindle of hope that maybe she's still alive.

I sound insane.

She. Is. Dead.

I need to accept the fact before I can actually ever try to begin to heal.

"We're heading downstairs and eating in 5!", I hear Christina yell through the door.

I sigh again and get up to brush my teeth.

When I finally head downstairs, everyone is already sitting around one of the many breakfast tables.

They all give me some sort of greeting. I sit in between Zeke and Christina and grab some bacon.

"Are you feeling better today, Tobias?", Cara asks me.

Huh?

"Oh yeah, I told them how you didn't feel good yesterday and that't why you had to leave after lunch", Zeke says.

I shoot him a thankful look and then turn my attention back to Cara.

"Uhh yeah, a little bit. Thanks."

She gives me a slight nod and goes back to her conversation with Caleb.

I zone out until I hear Peter talking about the restaurant/bar he wanted to go to while we were here.

"Yeah, it's called Sparkys and it's supposed to be one of the top places in New Orleans", he continues.

I look down again. I honestly couldn't care less where we end up eating. I sigh because I know that no matter what any of them do, I'm not going to enjoy another minute of this trip.

XXX

Apparently no one had any objections to Peter's place of choice because Zeke pulls our rental car up to a decent sized building with a big sign saying  
 _Sparkys Bar and Grill_ on it. We head inside and are instantly seated. A couple minutes later a man, probably in his late 20's, comes up to us.

"Hi guys. My name's Michael and I'm the general manager here at Sparkys. The waiter's section you were sat in is actually being split up for different servers because the original called in sick. I just wanted to let you know that since your server has more tables than usual, there may be a slight delay. We will be providing you with two free appetizers to make up for it though!"

"Oh that's no problem, but thank you for the appetizers!", Shauna says with a smile.

"Of course! You're server will be right out."

I sigh quietly. I just want to get back to the hotel as soon as possible, not be stuck at a restaurant for longer than usual.

I really need to try harder at not being miserable. I made a promise to Tris and I'm not planning on going back on it.

I shake my head and join in on the conversation between Zeke and Christina.

* * *

 **I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT COUPLE CHAPTERS :) but poor Tobias/: This chapter was kind of depressing for him. Please let me know what y'all think and how you think the confortation is going to go! I'm so greatful for every reader and review. It means the world. R &R for more **

**-M**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **Disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

 **Tris POV**

 _"One of the waiters called in sick, so I'm splitting up his tables. A party of 7 just came in and was sat in his section. Will you wait on them?"_

 _"Sure thing!", I say with a smile. The last thing I want after the last 24 hours I've had is an extra table, but it's not like it's Michael's fault._

 _"Thanks, Bea. I really appreciate it."_

 _I smile and head towards the new table of 7._

* * *

"Hi guys! My name is Bea, and I'm going to be your server today", I say while looking down and trying to get my writing pad out. "Can I start you off with an ice cold lemonade or maybe a sweat tea?"

I look up from my writing pad when I don't get an answer.

I'm met with 3 girls and 4 guys who, when I was on my way over here, looked like they were in the middle of a conversation. Now they all are just staring at me with looks of shock and confusion.

Well, all except one.

"I'll have a Dr. pepper", says one of the guys. He has dark, shiny hair and green eyes.

I nod at him and ask, "Okay, what about the rest of y'all?"

I am still met with faces of shock.

The guy who ordered a Dr. Pepper looks around at the rest of the group at their silence.

"Are y'all just gonna stare at her or are you going to order?", he asks them.

None of them move until a young man jumps out of his seat and runs towards the bathrooms. I didn't even get a chance to look at him.

What the heck is going on?

"Umm", I begin. "I can get another waitress if you guys want", I say starting to back up.

I have no idea what the strange looks are for, but it's kind of weirding me out.

"No!", says a pretty girl with brown skin and black hair. "Tris, is that you?", she gets out shakily.

Tris? Who the hell is Tris?

"Tris? Umm no, I think you might have the wrong person. But can I get yo-"

"No, no. Tris, I know it's you. I was a little hesitant when I first saw you, but I never would of forgotten your voice. How are you alive?", another girl says with shock evident on her face. I notice she has a wheel chair folded on the ground next to her.

"Look guys, I'm sorry but I have no idea who this Tris is", I say anxiously. They seem very convinced that I am whoever they're talking about.

"Wait, you mean to say that this is the Tris chick y'all of been telling me about? I thought she was dead?", says the man who ordered his drink already.

"Yeah Peter, so did we", a guy with dark skin and bright eyes says. He's sitting next to the girl with the wheelchair.

Okay, this is really weirding me out.

"Do you guys want me to come back to get your orders or can I get you a diff-", I try to say.

"No!", they all, minus the Dr. Pepper guy, yell at me.

"I'm sorry, I think we are all just really confused right now", the pretty girl says. "We'll go ahead and order our drinks."

The rest of the of the table looks at her like she's crazy but follows her lead.

I thank them and turn to head towards the kitchen.

But not before I hear one of the guys say, "I need to go find Tobias and tell him he's not loosing his mind, it's really her."

I leave before I can hear much else. Was this Tobias the one who ran after I had gotten to the table?

Hmmm, Tobias. Have I heard that name before? No, I tell myself. You haven't.

But what about what those people were saying? Could I actually be whoever that Tris is? It could make since, my name is Beatrice. Matthew had just said that the only nickname I've ever had was Bea.

I am loosing my mind. Am I seriously this willing to believe a group of strangers that think I'm their dead friend? It's not like I recognize any of them or seem to have any connection with them. Am I seriously that gullible?

Apparently while I was lost in my thoughts, the rest of my body continued to work because when I finally snap out of my inner-argument, I had just finished with the last drink.

I sigh and make a silent deal with myself. I don't know who these people are, and I'm not going to let their confusion intercept with my working.

I shake my head and head back to their table.

When I approach there is another guy there. This must be whoever Tobias is. He seems to be in a pretty serious conversation with the guy with the bright eyes.

I smile and hand out all they drinks and turn to the new guy.

"And what can I get you to dr-"

I stop as we make eye contact.

I almost drop the tray I'm holding.

I can't breathe.

It's him.

They guy I saw when Matthew began dragging me down the street. These must be the people I saw outside that store.

I get ahold of myself enough to notice that the rest of the group is staring at us.

Why am I staring at this man? He's just someone I saw across the street. He probably doesn't even recognize me.

Yet, by the look he's giving me, that cannot be true.

I shake my head, scolding myself. Get a grip, what is wrong with you?

"Uhh, I'm sorry. What can I get you to drink?", I stutter out.

He continues to stare at me.

"Tris?", he gets out.

His voice send shocks through me. Have I heard that voice before?

"Oh no, I already told your friends. My name is Bea and I'm going to be waiting on y'all today. And I'm sorry but I have no idea who Tris is", I say trying to sound convincing. In reality, my heart is racing so fast I don't know how I am managing to get any words out.

"You don't remember any of us, do you?", he asks me softly.

I try to speak but my mouth refuses to open.

For 8 months, I have been trying to remember anything about my life before the accident, but to no avail. According to the doctors, I should have gotten at least a glimpse of my memories back by doing the same things I used to do. Is it possible that maybe I haven't gotten them back because I've been in the wrong place with the wrong people?

You don't know for sure though, the other side of my brain argues. You arn't 100% sure that you are this Tris.

Wait a second. Didn't Matthew mess up on my name yesterday? Didn't he start to say something close to Tris?

-*FLASHBACK*-

 _"We are regular people Tri- err Bea. We just have to be a little procautionary for a while."_

 _I stare at him for a moment. What was he about to call me?_

 _"What did you say?", I ask him._

 _"What do you mean? We just have to be a li-"_

 _"You said something before you said my name", I say interrupting him. "Like you were going to call me something else."_

 _"Nope", he says popping the p. "I didn't say anything."_

 _"Yes, you did! You said Tri- err Bea."_

 _"Bea, I really didn't say anythi-"_

 _"Matthew, please just tell me. It can't be that big of a deal", I say exasperatedly._

 _"It's not Bea. Really, I just wasn't paying attention and stuttered that's all", he tries to explain._

 _"Bu-", I begin but am interrupted by the waitress asking if we're ready for the check._

 _He nods and she gives it to us._

 _"Take your time", she says with a smile and walks away._

 _"Bea, please just drop it. I just stuttered; it was an accident."_

 _I sigh and look down. Am I really becoming so paranoid that I'm freaking out over a stutter? Or, the other side of my brain says, if he's lying about why he tried to make you wear the disguises, he could be lying about who you are too._

 _I mentally face palm. I am officially loosing my mind._

-*FLASHBACK END*-

Maybe I wasn't loosing my mind.

Was he going to say Tris? I know for a fact then that Matthew has been lying to me, at least about these people in front of me.

It all starts to make sense, the disguises, the hiding, the dragging me away when he saw me looking at this man, me not getting my memories back.

Who is Matthew Henry? Because I know for a fact that even though I don't remember the people in front of me, I know this man with the dark blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember y'all. But you", I say looking towards the man. "I feel like I know you even though I have no recollection of you."

"Do you feel like you know any of the rest of us?", a man who hasn't spoken yet asks with hope in his eyes.

I shake my head.

This is too much. Who have I been living with these last 8 months? Who are the people in front of me?

I can feel myself swaying and starting to breathe harder, but the thoughts keep coming.

Who is Tris? Could it really be me? How do I know those blue eyes? Can I go back to Matthew? What do I do? Where can I go?

The next thing I know I'm falling and everything goes black.

* * *

 **What do you think is going to happen next? Will she get her memories back or stay disconnected? What is Matthew going to do? R &R to find out.  
Don't forget, I update daily :) **

**-M**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Disclaimer/ I don't own Divergent**

 **Tobias POV**

 _I sigh quietly. I just want to get back to the hotel as soon as possible, not be stuck at a restaurant for longer than usual._

 _I really need to try harder at not being miserable. I made a promise to Tris and I'm not planning on going back on it._

 _I shake my head and join in on the conversation between Zeke and Christina._

* * *

"Hi guys! My name is Bea, and I'm going to be your server today! Can I start you off with an ice cold lemonade or maybe a sweat tea?", I hear the waitress say.

Wait.

I know that voice.

I look straight ahead, not wanting to look up just to be disappointed. How many tricks is my mind going to play on me?

What does get my attention is that no one answers her. I know why I'm ignoring the her, but why would they? I look up and notice that they are all staring at her with looks of shock and confusion. Well, all except Peter.

"I'll have a Dr. pepper", he says smoothly.

He looks around and, for what seems like the first time, notices the looks and everyones faces.

"Are y'all just gonna stare at her or are you going to order?"

At this, my curiosity overrides my fear and I look up at her.

I think I almost fall out of my chair when I see her.

Tris.

I instantly jump to my feet prepared to gather her in my arms, when I remember yesterday. The person standing before me is probably some random, innocent person who is getting extremely weirded out by all the looks she's getting.

I change me route and practically sprint to the bathrooms, ignoring all of the strange looks I'm getting. I couldn't care less of what they must be thinking at a grown man running to the bathroom. I don't care about anything right now.

Why does this keep happening? Back in Chicago, I never hallucinated into seeing her and thinking she's alive. The only time I saw her was when I went into my fear landscape, and all that did was reissue the fact that she was dead.

I sigh and put my head in my hands. I can't keep doing this. I can't live like this.

XXX

When Zeke comes into the bathroom, no doubt looking for me, it feels like I've been in here for 45 minutes to an hour, yet looking at my watch I see it's only been 10 minutes.

I don't meet his eyes.

"Go away, Zeke. Please, I-", I stop and take a deep breath. "I don't know what's happening, okay? I don't know why I keep seeing her and I don't know how to stop it. I just don't know what I do." I lean my head up against the wall and close me eyes.

"Tobias", he starts. "I'm sor-"

I scoff.

"I'm sorry that I told you not pursue after her when you saw her yesterday. I'm sorry I made you think that she wasn't there. I really just thought you were hallucinating."

I turn my head to look at him so fast it hurts my neck.

"What are you talking about, Zeke?"

I don't want to get my hopes up just to get them crushed.

Too late.

"It's her, T. The waitress, I mean. It's Tris."

I look at him in shock.

"You mean I wasn't the only to recognize her?", I say with hope in my voice.

He nods. "Everyone recognized her, well except Peter because of the serum. But, she has no idea who we are. I don't know how she's alive or how she's here, but I do know she either has amnesia or was also exposed to memory serum."

I jump up to my feet, filled with the most happiness I've felt since she died.

Then something dawns on me.

"If she doesn't remember us , how are we going to let her know who we are and that we're not lying? After the way everyone was acting, she probably thinks we're crazy."

He sighs. "I know, I thought of that too. But, I'm hoping that when she sees you, something will click. You were the closest to her out of everyone out there, but I don't know for sure."

I make my way towards the door and can feel him following me.

When we reach the table my heart is racing. The fact that she's alive and that if I wanted to I could run in that kitchen and pull her into my arms is mind blowing. This is the opportunity I've wished and hoped for since she died, but never thought it would actually happen.

If I thought my heart was racing before, it's beating out of my chest as she approaches the table and hands out everyones drinks. Anything I had planned to say to her is thrown out the window as I take in her appearance. Still as beautiful as the day I lost her.

"And what can I get you to dr-", she begins to say to me, but then suddenly stops.

She stares at me as intenslely has I stare at her.

I can't believe she's really here alive and well, standing right in front of me.

She seems to be in shock as she looks at me. I look close, looking for just a little spark of recognition, but am met with nothing.

She shakes her head and stutters, "Uhh, I'm sorry. What can I get you to drink?"

I just look at her.

You're not going to get anywhere just staring at her, Tobias.

"Tris?", I say just above a whisper.

"Oh no, I already told your friends. My name is Bea and I'm going to be waiting on y'all today. And I'm sorry but I have no idea who Tris is", she says, but I can see the hesitation on her face.

Bea? Why would she be going by Bea?

"You don't remember any of us, do you?", I ask softly.

She seems to zone out for awhile before saying, "I'm sorry, but I don't remember y'all. But you", she says looking towards me. "I feel like I know you even though I have no recollection of you."

My heart swells. She may not remember me, but this is definitely a start.

"Do you feel like you know any of the rest of us?", Caleb asks hope in his eyes. This is the first time I've heard him talk since Tris came out saying she was the waitress.

She shakes her head and starts to look overwhelmed.

I see what's going to happen before it does and jump up to catch her just as she passes out.

* * *

 **And they've met! Let me know what you think! I really love writing this story and how everything is turning out. The reviews are what keep me going:) Pls let me know your opinions! R &R**

 **-M**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

 **Tris POV**

 _This is too much. Who have I been living with these last 8 months? Who are the people in front of me?_

 _I can feel myself swaying and starting to breathe harder, but the thoughts keep coming._

 _Who is Tris? Could it really be me? How do I know those blue eyes? Can I go back to Matthew? What do I do? Where can I go?_

 _The next thing I know I'm falling and everything goes black._

* * *

My head hurts and my mind goes back to the day I woke up in the hospital.

Please, please tell me that's not where I am.

I hear voices above me and force my eyes open. I'm met with worried looks and frantic voices.

I look around and see that I'm on one of the couches in the break room.

What happened?

My eyes flitter up to the person next to me and I'm met with beautiful deep dark blue ones.

The memories of the last two hours come flashing back to me.

"Hey, Tris", his soft voice says.

"Tobias?"

His face lights up.

"You remember me?", he asks hurridly.

"No, I'm sorry, just from back at the table. What happened? Did I faint?", I ask.

"Yeah, you almost fell but Tobias caught you. When the manager saw what happened, he told us to bring you in here", one of the guys from the table says. He has glasses on and was the one who had only talked once when I was waiting on them.

Wait, I was waiting on them!

"Oh my gosh, I have to get back to work! Thank you guys for bringing me in here, but I really ne-"

Carter sticks her head through the door.

"Bea, don't even think about trying to go back to work. You just fainted for heavens sake! I talked to Michael, you have the rest of the day off", she says interrupting me.

"Bu-", I begin.

"Nope, no buts. Give me your apron", she says giving me a look.

I know this isn't a battle I'm going to win, so I sigh and hand it over to her.

Before she walks out she leans down and whispers in my ear, "By the way, I think you should at least hear these people out. I don't know why, but I just have this feeling. Besides, I know you've never really felt at home with Matthew."

With that, she gives me a small smile and walks out the door.

Should I really listen to what these people have to say? They could be total strangers that think they've found someone who isn't actually me.

Then again, what am I so afraid of? Carter was right, I've never really felt at home with Matthew, but he's all I thought I had.

And what about this Tobias? I have some kind of connection and pulling towards him that can't be from just meeting him.

I shake my head. What do I have to lose?

"So Michael let all of you come just come in here with me when I fainted?", I ask.

The guy with bright eyes chuckled. "Well, we kind of explained our situation and, although he seemed kind of shocked, he believed us."

I hum a response.

"I bet you're pretty confused, huh?", the pretty girl says.

"That's a bit of an understatement", I say timidly.

"I wouldn't even know where to start", the girl in the wheelchair says.

"What about your names and how I supposedly know you? Y'all are so sure that you know me, and I feel bad I don't even know what to call you."

The guy with the big smile and bright eyes jumps up. "Well, I'm going first then. I, my dear lady, am Ezekiel Pedrad. Commonly known as Zeke", he says with a funny accent and a bow. "You were best friends with my brother, and I'm the best pal of number boy over there", he says pointing to Tobias.

Number boy?

I ignore it and laugh out a "Nice to meet you, Zeke."

He smiles at me and then everyone follows his lead. Well, without the accents.

I learn that the pretty girl with the black hair is Christina, who apparently was my best friend. Then there's Shauna, the one in the wheelchair, who is dating Zeke. Next was Peter, who's the only one who doesn't act like he knows who I am.

"I'm Peter, and we're kind of in the same boat I guess", he says with a smirk. "I don't have my memories either, but mine was at my own choice."

I nod, but don't really know what to think of him. He gives me weird vibes.

Then, there's Cara. She's pretty quiet, but I did learn that she'd dating Caleb. He must be the one with the glasses.

"I'm Caleb", he says and walks towards me cautiously. "I'm your brother."

Wait, what?

I have a brother?

I look up at him and don't see any resemblance. I guess it could't be impossible though.

I notice that everyone seems to be waiting for my reaction.

I take a deep breath.

"I was always told that I was the only child my parents had."

Wait, what about mey parents? If Matthew lied to me about Caleb, maybe her lied about them too!

"Where are they? My parents, I mean. My real ones."

Everyone's faces pale.

"So that part wasn't a lie, was it? They're really dead."

"I'm sorry, Tris", Christina says to me.

I nod at her, not knowing what to say.

"And there's me", I hear Tobias say from beside me.

I turn and smile at him.

"While my real name is Tobias, I used to be known as Four. And I was lucky enough to have you as a girlfriend."

I stare at him in shock. This gorgeous man in front of me was my boyfriend? Is that why I seem to have such a strong pulling towards him?

"But", he says. "I think now it's time we ask you some questions. Let us try and prove to you that we're not just making this up."

I nod at him.

"So, you had a sort of memory loss, right?", Christina asks me.

"Um, yeah. The doctors told me I have a severe case of amnesia."

"Well, that's good. That means that you haven't been exposed to memory serum, so you still actually have a chance of regaining your memories", Cara says.

"Okay, my turn for a question", Zeke says. "You don't remember anything past a certain point, right?"

I nod at him.

"When was that point?"

I look at him sceptically. Technically, they could just match this Tris information with whatever I tell them.

"When did your Tris person "die"?", I ask him.

"Almost a year ago", Tobias answers for him.

If you add the 8 months since I woke up with the 4 months I was in a coma, you would get approximately a year's time.

Oh my God.

"Almost a year ago if you count the time I was in a coma", I say.

Even I can hear the shock in my voice.

"Wait, so where have you been staying all this time?", Shauna asks.

"I've been staying with Matthew. Matthew Henry. He said that we grew up together and he took me in after my parents died, but now I honestly don't know how much of that is true", I say.

Who the hell have I been living with for the past 8 months? Although technically the people in front of me have given me no proof that they're telling me the truth, something in my gut tells me they are.

I look up and notice most of their faces have gone slack.

"You mean you've been living with Matthew Henry? Tall, light skin, brown eyes, slanted nose Matthew Henry?", Tobias spits out.

"Umm, yeah. Why? Do y'all know him or something?", I ask confused.

Just as Tobias is about to respond Carter comes running through the door.

"Bea, I tried to tell him you're busy but he must of heard you voice from in here. He said something about needing to make something up to you", she gasps out.

"What do you mean? Who?", I ask, yet I have a pretty good feeling I know exactly who she's talking about.

"I-"

She's interrupted by Matthew walking through the door with flowers.

He almost drops them when he sees who's in the room.

* * *

 **Hey guys, so I have a question. First, what did you think? I was pretty happy with this chapter! But second, do you guys want the next chapter to be this chapter in Tobias' POV or should I just skip it and continue this scene in Tris' POV? I'm kind of leaning towards the latter but if y'all are curious about what Tobias was thinking in this chapter, let me know! Volleyball is starting up so I will probably be going back to just one update a day:( but if I have time, I will try to get in two. I love all of the reviews and y'all readers. You guys have made it so much fun to write my first fanfic and I'm so excited to continue it. Don't forget R &R! :)**

 **-M**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12**

 **disclaimer/ I don't own Divergent.**

 **Tris POV**

 _"Bea, I tried to tell him you're busy but he must of heard you voice from in here. He said something about needing to make something up to you", she gasps out._

 _"What do you mean? Who?", I ask, yet I have a pretty good feeling I know exactly who she's talking about._

 _"I-"_

 _She's interrupted by Matthew walking through the door with flowers._

 _He almost drops them when he sees who's in the room._

* * *

"Bea, what is going on?," he stutters out. "We're leaving, now."

He rushes towards me and just as he grabs my arm, Tobias jumps to his feet.

"If you know what's best for you, you will step back Matthew," Tobias says coldly.

"Stay out of this," Matthew spits at him.

"I'm going to tell you on more time. Get your hands off of her."

Matthew releases me and makes a break for the door.

"Zeke!," Tobias yells, but Zeke is already grabbing Matthew by the back of his shirt.

"Bea, you can't trust these people! You always wondered about the disguises, well these people are why! I've been trying to keep you safe. I brought you these flowers," he says handing them to me. "to try and make up for keeping you in the dark all this time. I have everything planned out, okay? Just tell them to let me go and we can get out of here. We'll go back to way things were, but no disguises. I promise, just please Bea. Tell them to let me go!", he begs.

I look down at the flowers in my hand and have the sudden urge to throw them against the wall.

Does he really think that I'm just going to go back with him? That everything that happened last night just didn't happen?

"I'm not going anywhere with anyone until I understand what's going on here,"I say assertively.

He looks at me shocked. I don't know where this newfound confidence came from, but I'm surprising myself.

I turn to the group and ask, "Do y'all know him?"

They nod and Christina step forward.

"We met him at the Bureau of Genetic Welfare. You two were friends before you "died", but you didn't know him for very long. Now that I think about it though, none of us have seen him since you've died, right?," she asks looking around. She's met with nods and murmurs of agreement.

"What the hell is the Bureau of Genetic Welfare?"

She sighs. "Maybe that's a story for when we have more time."

I nod. "But I've never heard of it before. Is it far from here?," I ask.

Shauna frowns at me. "Tris, do you think you've been in New Orleans your whole life?"

I look at her wierdly. "Well yeah, Matthew said I gr-"

I let my voice fade off. How much of what he told me was a lie?

I glance at him.

"Matthew, was I born here?," I ask harshly.

He stares at the floor.

I jump off the couch and rush towards him.

"Answer me. Now. Don't you think you at least owe me that?," I yell at him, about to lose any bit of patience I might have.

His face turns red and he looks at me the way he did last night before he lost his temper.

"You think I owe you something? Are you kidding me? The only reason your alive is because of me! I've done everything for you! I've given you a place to stay, I've given you support and attention, and I owe you something?"

Is he serious?

He looks down at me like I'm the gum stuck on the bottom of shoe. Like I was such an inconvenience to him.

That tears it.

"You've done everything for me? ALL THAT YOU'VE DONE IS LIE TO ME! You've lied to me over and over again, you've hidden me away and made me wear disguises! And what about last night, huh? Was that for me too? In my best interest? You've been nothing but a thorn in my side, and I'm done, you hear me? I'm done."

"Wait, what do you mean you saved her life?," Caleb asks.

Matthew keeps his face stolid and stares at the wall.

Tobias walks up to him and grabs the front of his shirt. "He asked you a question," he seethes.

His behavior might be frightening to other people, but for some reason it just makes me feel safe and impowered. It's like I know that no matter what, I would never be hurt by him.

Physically anyway.

Matthew tries to step back, but Zeke still has ahold of him.

"At the Bureau, everything up until they told you she died was true," he begins.

So I really am Tris?

"And they probably thought that she did. And she would of, if it had not of been for me."

"Get to the point," Christina spits at him.

He sighs in annoyance, but continues.

"When I had found her, she barely had a pulse left. I couldn't just let her die, so I flew her out here to New Orleans because the hospital here is the top in the country. She almost died and was in surgery for almost 36 hours. Then put her in a coma for almost 4 months," he sighs again. "My plan was always to bring her back, but when she woke up she had no memory of anything."

"So you just kept her here? Without telling her anything? And why wouldn't you tell us that you brought her here if you had always planned on bringing her back?," Tobias yells at him.

I'm so overwhelmed that I think I might faint again.

"So I was never in a car accident?"

He shakes his head at me.

"Why didn't you take me back t-, wait where was I again?"

"Chicago," Tobias answers me.

"Why didn't you take me back to Chicago?"

"Because I didn't want to, okay? Because you didn't remember anything and when I saw you laying in that hospital bed looking so scared, I just wanted to be the one to keep you safe. I wanted to be the one you wanted."

"What were you going to do when I got my memories back?"

"I never gave you an opportunity to get your memories back. You were around different people and weren't doing the things the things you used to be doing."

"So that's why you were so consistent with the disguises? You were trying to hide me from anyone I used to know?"

"I never wanted you to get hurt, Bea"

"Don't call me that," I say quietly but sternly. "And don't even, okay? You didn't want me to get hurt? If that was true, you would of taken me back to be with someone who would actually never hurt me."

I look around hoping I didn't leak out too much. I don't want them knowing about what happened last night, but their faces don't change much. They probably just thought I was talking about the lies.

"I'm sorry Be-, err Tris."

I scoff and turn my head. I don't know what to do. I can't go back to Matthew, so where am I going to go?

"Wait, what what happened last night," Zeke says.

I freeze. I didn't use to understand why people living with someone that hurt them never told anyone, but now I get it.

I don't want to be seen as weak.

"What do you mean?," I say trying to think of an excuse.

"You said 'what about last night? Was that in my best interest too?' or something like that."

"Nothing, it doesn't matter okay?"

The looks on everyones faces shows confusion.

Well, everyone except Christina.

She walks over to me and stares at me for a second.

"You used to hate to wear makeup Tris, when did you start?", Christina asks me stiffly.

"Does it matter?," I stammer out.

"No, not really. But you see, I've worn makeup for a really long time. I know how it looks when it's used to certain things. Back in initiation, I used a certain kind of technique to cover up any of my bruises. The same kind that I can see that you've used."

I'm screwed.

* * *

 **I'm sooo sorry I didn't update yesterday. Everything was so crazy because of the 4th of July. Also, I was trying to get this done quickly so I apoligize if it's a little rushed :/ Anyways let me know what you think! I decided to go with Tris' POV because I though that this specific chapter should have her thoughts in it. Next chapter will be in Tobias' POV though and it will be starting exactly where this on ended:) R &R**

 **-M**

 **S/O to divergentpanda46 for the grammar tip:)**


	14. Not a Chapter!

Hey guys just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be gone for a while and not have access to a computer so I doubt I will update again until Thursday:( I will try and get chapters done on my phone but I don't usually like how they come out when I do that. I'm super sorry and I promise I will be back in no longer than 6 days. Thank you guys so much for all the support this story has brought, it means the world 3

-M


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

 **Tris POV**

 _"You used to hate to wear makeup Tris, when did you start?", Christina asks me stiffly._

 _"Does it matter?," I stammer out._

 _"No, not really. But you see, I've worn makeup for a really long time. I know how it looks when it's used to certain things. Back in initiation, I used a certain kind of technique to cover up any of my bruises. The same kind that I can see that you've used."_

 _I'm screwed._

* * *

 **Tobias POV**

I'm lost.

When the hell did we start talking about makeup?

"Christina, what's the poi-," I begin.

The look she gives me stops the words as they form in my mouth.

My heart stops as I realize what she is implying.

Everything seems to come together. The fact that Tris keep avoiding Zeke's question about what happened last night plus the whole makeup used to cover bruises points to only one thing. I can feel my anger rising by the millisecond.

I'm gonna kill him.

I don't think as I lunge at Matthew. Everyone jumps out of my way as I take ahold of his collar and shove him up against the wall.

"YOU HAD THE NERVE TO PUT YOUR HANDS ON HER?," I bellow at him.

His face has terror written all over it. I know I am loosing my temper, but right now it is impossible for me to have any sympathy for him. How dare he hit her? My goal has always been to keep her safe and away from any experiences related to those of mine during childhood. Now that I know she is still alive, that goal seems more important to me than ever.

He tries to stutter out an answer, but my fist finds its way to his jaw before he gets a chance.

He immediately collapses to the ground.

I approach him with my leg reared back ready to shove my foot into his ribs when a soft pair of hands wrap around my bicep.

I freeze.

In the midst of my anger, I had forgotten that Tris doesn't have any recollection of who we are, only of what we have shown her. And right now, all I have shown her is that I'm cold and act out of rage without thinking.

I wince and brace myself to look into a face full of fear and panic for the boy she has been living with for the past 8 months. Matthew is all she has known and I just bruised his jaw.

I look down and instead of terror, I see sternness and strength.

"Don't give him the time of day," she says to me quietly.

I marvel at the girl in front of me. I should of known better than to underestimate her.

She stands up straighter and walks over to Matthew, who's still crumpled on the floor.

He glances up at her with a look of indifference. He still acts like he's above her, even as he's broken on the floor. The lack of respect he has for her makes me wonder if that one hit is all he has done to her. What has he done that has broken her down so much that he is no longer threatened by her strength?

It must not matter now though because the glare she gives him is enough to break down his facade and causes him to wince.

"You have taken so much from me," she begins quietly. "You've taken my freedom, my friends, and most importantly my confidence just because you are too selfish to make the right decisions. You enjoyed having someone to boss around and be in control of. You singlehandedly took everything I have ever know away from me just so you could feel superior to someone. I may not have my memories or know exactly the truth of what happened to me, but I now know for a fact that my place is not behind you. So while I thank you for saving my life, I have a feeling had these people not found me, I would of been better off dead than being stuck with someone that didn't treat me right."

She looks a little surprised as she finishes her speech, but the aura around her never changes. I've seen her be strong and confident before, but never have I known her to be so sure of herself while saying something. My heart leaps with pride.

"So what, huh?," Matthew spits at her. "What are you going to do? Where are you going to go? I've given you everything you have ever needed. Without me, you literally have nothing."

He stumbles to his feet and, although he's several inches shorter than me, towers over her.

"So let me tell you what. You are going to come with me and we are going to go home. Got it?"

He grabs her arm and begins to rush her towards the door.

I'm over to them with one big step, and as I'm about to throw Matthew across the room, Tris wrenches her arm out from his grasp and twists his behind him in one solid motion.

She drops his arm immediately and hops back in shock.

"How the hell did I do that?," she mumbles to herself.

"Muscle memory," I say to her with a proud smile. "You're physically trained in combat and my guess is that since you've gained some confidence back, it kicked in."

She looks confused but turns back to Matthew nevertheless.

"I'm not going anywhere with you ever again. Having no where to go is a better option than being stuck with you," she says with a sneer.

"You'll regret this, Beatrice!," he says cruelly and flees out of the room.

Her body visibly relaxes as he gets farther and farther away.

I give Zeke a look and he nods. We both head towards the door ready to pursue him.

"Wait!," Tris yells out as she runs up in front of us blocking our path. "Just let him go, please. He knows this city like the back of his hand, you wouldn't be able to find him anyway. Besides, I just want him away from me."

She looks towards the door and then back at us.

"Please?"

Zeke looks at me and I sigh.

Like I could say no to her right now.

I nod and Zeke mumbles out a quiet "Okay."

I glance back down towards Tris and am greeted with an antsy look.

"Tris?," I say nervously. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She looks over at the rest of the group, her eyes meeting all of theirs before they find their way back to mine.

She sighs.

"I am really grateful for everything y'all just did for me, but I think I should go find Carter. Matthew was right about one thing, I don't really have very much without him. I need to make sure I can stay with her before I do anything else."

Wait, what? I thought it was obvious she would just come back with us.

Then again, this is Tris we're talking about.

"No, Tris, wait!", I stumble out hurriedly. "What do you mean you have no where to go? Come back with us to Chicago. That's your real home."

"Yeah Tris!," Christina says. "We've been grieving your death for almost a year. We're your real family."

"I don't know guys", she says sheepishly.

I walk up to her and with some great wave of courage, grab her hand.

"Hey," I say softly. "Look at me."

Her eyes flitter up to mine.

"I thought I had lost any chance I had ever had at happiness when you supposedly died. Now that I know you're alive, I'm not letting you go. I physically can't do it. If you come with us, you have a huge shot at getting your memories back. And besides, I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing that you are in the same city as Matthew. So please Tris," I say practically begging her. "Let us take you back home."

I'm shocked as she wraps her arms around me and pulls me into an embrace. My arms react immediately and pull her closer.

She whispers a quiet "okay" into my chest.

* * *

 **I'm back! :) I am so appreciative of y'alls patience and am so sorry that I had to get off of schedule. I should be good for at least a week or two so I'm back to daily updates! All of the reviews I got while I was away were all so supportive and I am genuinely glad that you guys are enjoying this story. Let me know what y'all thought of this chapter. Every single review is so helpful and inspiring and I am beyond grateful for all of them. Thank you guys so much for supporting me and continuing to read my first fanfic. I feel like my writing has improved drastically from the first chapter to this chapter and the credit goes to y'all just as much as it goes to me :') RR**

 **-M**


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 **D** **isclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

 **Tobias POV**

 _"I thought I had lost any chance I had ever had at happiness when you supposedly died. Now that I know you're alive, I'm not letting you go. I physically can't do it. If you come with us, you have a huge shot at getting your memories back. And besides, I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing that you are in the same city as Matthew. So please Tris," I say practically begging her. "Let us take you back home."_

 _I'm shocked as she wraps her arms around me and pulls me into an embrace. My arms react immediately and pull her closer._

 _She whispers a quiet "okay" into my chest._

* * *

 **Tris POV**

As soon as the words leave my mouth, my body seems to just sink into him. I would usually think it strange to feel this much of a pulling towards someone you have no recollection of, but there's something about Tobias that makes me feel safe and wanted.

"Ahem," a deep voice says from behind us.

I turn around and am met with the jumbled face of Michael.

"Bea, any chance you can explain what's going on here? One second you're fainting in the middle of the restaurant and the next Matthew is storming out of the building as if his life depended on it," he say flustered.

I sigh.

"I honestly don't know where to start, but don't worry about it. I would like to put in a notice for my resignation though."

"Wait, what?," he says startled. "You're quitting?"

I give him a small smile.

"I'm going home."

* * *

After close to an hour of giving both Michael and Carter a brief explanation of what's going on, we're able to leave.

I walk out of the restaurant with a lightness around me that I've never felt before, which is strange considering I'm moving from the only place I've ever known with a group of people I have no memory of meeting.

"So, what exactly is the plan now?," Shauna asks no one in particular.

"Yeah, are we staying for the rest of the trip? We still have roughly 2 weeks planned," Peter chimes in.

"You guys can't cut your trip short because of me!," I exclaim. "Stay here for the rest of your two weeks. That is, if y'all don't mind me tagging along for the rest of your time here. Because if you do I can ju-,"

"Tris, stop talking," Christina tells me enwrapping me in a hug. "We all missed you so much, you have no idea. Especially number boy over there," she says pointing at Tobias. "Good luck ever leaving us again."

The group all mumbles in agreement.

"Okay," I say with a small smile. It's crazy to me that these people care about me so much.

"So where are y'all staying?"

"At the Embassy," Caleb answers me. "It's huge and is so nice."

I smile at him, but my thoughts are jumbled. I can't believe I actually have a real brother, yet my connection with him doesn't seem to be very strong. I wonder if we were close?

"Yeah, it's so great there. Props to me, I know," Zeke says interrupting my thoughts and pretending to flip hair over his shoulder.

"Whatever Zeke, can we just get going? I don't know about y'all be I need a serious break after the drama of the last couple hours," Cara says.

I study her but can't seem to figure her out. She has in no way been rude or hateful towards me, but hasn't been exactly the most inviting person either.

"Good idea, let's had that way," Peter says bored.

I turn on my heel and follow the group with Tobias on my right and Christina on my left towards their rental car.

The drive to the hotel is short, only about 15 minutes, but kind of awkward. It seems like everyone is attempting to be very careful with their words and I sometimes get worried glances shot at me, like they are trying to figure out if I'm real or not. I'm eager to get out of the tense atmosphere of strange glances and small talk, and am the first one out of the car.

We enter the hotel and although I've seen the outside before, I've never had a need to actually enter it. The lobby is huge with a giant fountain in the middle and is filled full of luxurious looking furniture.

"We're probably just going to go chill and hang out for a minute," Tobias says to me. "You're more than welcome to come with me, but I would absolutely understand if you were more comfortable going wi-"

"I'll stay with you, if that's okay," I say interrupting him. I can feel my face heating up as soon as I say it, but I can't help it. I just have the urge to be near him.

He smiles at me brightly.

"I was hoping you would say that."

We load the elevator and Shauna presses level 5. As soon as the doors close, I feel Tobias tense next to me. No one seems to notice, but our close proximity makes it much more apparent. I shift my eyes up towards his face and see his eyes closed and jaw clenched.

"Are you claustrophobic?," I ask him quietly.

"That obvious, eh?", he says trying to joke, but his voice is tight.

I reach down and grab his hand. When I'm around him it's like my brain works on it's own because I do it before I even comprehend what's happening.

Any doubt I have fades away though when he squeezes it tightly. When the elevator doors open and we step out, I release his hand. I immediately feel colder and have the urge to grab it again, but ignore it and step back.

He smiles at me and whispers a quiet "thank you."

"So we'll just go hang out for a little bit and then meet down in the lobby at 7 for dinner?," Christina asks.

There's murmurs of agreement and everyone turns and begins to head to what I suspect is their rooms.

"I'm just down this way," Tobias says leading me down the hall and to a door that has the number 546 painted above it. He unlocks it and swings it open for me.

His room is pretty large for one person, with a flat screen TV, queen size bed, a couch, and what looks to be a small kitchen.

"This is really nice," I say looking around.

"Yeah, it's a little big, but who am I to complain?," he says.

My eyes glance over to a piece of glass that seems to be lodged in the wall. I walk over to it and see that it seems to be a part of a broken vase.

"Did something break?", I ask turning around to face him.

He rubs the back of his neck.

"Umm, yeah a vase broke," he says uncertainly.

"How'd a piece get lodged in the wall?"

He hesistates and doesn't answer.

I look up at him and he looks somewhat guilty.

"Hey, are you okay?," I ask taking a step towards him.

He sighs and wraps his arms around me. Whenever Matthew hugged me, my first instinct was to get out of the awkward situation as soon as possible, but it's different with Tobias. Being in his arms makes my feel valuable, not uncomfortable.

"I may have lost control of some of my emotions," he says ashamed. "I was hurting so bad and usually when that happens I just go on a run or to the gym, but I'm not exactly somewhere I know very well. Next thing I knew the lamp was shattered against the wall."

He was hurting? Emotionally or physically? He seems fine physically, but what could of happened that set him off emotionally?

I pull back just enough that I can look into his eyes. Hearing that should scare me, should make me feel weary of him, yet I'm not. For some reason, I know that he wouldn't hurt me.

"What happened?," I ask softly.

He sighs.

"We might want to sit down before I tell you."

I look at him strangely, but oblige anyway.

What could of happened?

* * *

 **This is a bit of a filler but I needed a chapter that was kind of a transition sort. But what did y'all think?**

 **on a side note though...**

 **WE REACHED OVER 100 REVIEWS OMG Y'ALL ARE AMAZING! TYSM:')**

 **I am so thankful that y'all continue to read and enjoy this story. It means the world!**

 **R &R ;)**

 **-M**


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 15**

 **D** **isclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

 **Tris POV**

 _"Hey, are you okay?," I ask taking a step towards him._

 _He sighs and wraps his arms around me. Whenever Matthew hugged me, my first instinct was to get out of the awkward situation as soon as possible, but it's different with Tobias. Being in his arms makes my feel valuable, not uncomfortable._

 _"I may have lost control of some of my emotions," he says ashamed. "I was hurting so bad and usually when that happens I just go on a run or to the gym, but I'm not exactly somewhere I know very well. Next thing I knew the lamp was shattered against the wall."_

 _He was hurting? Emotionally or physically? He seems fine physically, but what could of happened that set him off emotionally?_

 _I pull back just enough that I can look into his eyes. Hearing that should scare me, should make me feel weary of him, yet I'm not. For some reason, I know that he wouldn't hurt me._

 _"What happened?," I ask softly._

 _He sighs._

 _"We might want to sit down before I tell you."_

 _I look at him strangely, but oblige anyway._

 _What could of happened?_

* * *

 **Tobias POV**

I follow in her suit and sit next to her on the couch. I can feel her eyes on me, but I continue to keep my focus on the table in front of us and take a deep breath.

I feel her soft hand grab mine, hesitantly at first, and then more confident. I glance up and see her beautiful eyes looking back at me. I really can't believe she's here. Her, in all of her amazingness, is sitting not half a foot away from me.

"I don't want to frighten you," I start. "I know you don't remember anything about us."

I pause, but she squeezes my hand in encouragement.

I look into her eyes and melt. I've been wanting to hold her in my arms and kiss her beautiful lips for so long and the fact that she's so close, but her memories are so far way is insane to me.

I can't do anything to scare her off, though. I'll wait forever, even if she never gets her memories back.

"I'm not sure if you saw me, but yesterday I saw you walking with Matthew. I didn't recognize him, but I did a double take when I saw you. I looked straight into your gorgeous eyes and I knew it was you. I ran to you as fast as I could, but by the time I reached the other side of the street, you were gone. Zeke had followed me and when I told him I saw you, he gave me that look. Like he knew I was just hallucinating, but he didn't know how to tell me. Even as he tried, I kept on pushing, wanting it so badly to be you that I didn't want to listen to reason. Once I came to my senses, I left the group and walked back to the hotel. I was a wreck. I couldn't understand how my mind could be so cruel as to trick me into thinking that the one person I wanted so badly, was actually there. My hopes had rose so much just to be crushed. As I walked into my room, the realization that you were actually dead hit me like hammer. I broke. It was just like the day Cara told me you were gone. I let the grief take over and I had no control."

I look over to see she has tears in her eyes. I squeeze her hand and keep her gaze as I continue.

"Anything I could get my hands on, I threw. I'm actually surprised that's the only piece we missed when we were cleaning everything up," I say with a dry chuckle.

A tear drips down her face.

"I'm so sor-," she begins.

"Don't even finish that Tris," I interrupt. "Don't you dare apologize about any of this. None of this is your fault."

"I just feel so bad. You're right, I don't remember us. But I do know that the connection I have with you is real. The only reason I even began to believe you guys in the first place is because of you. And the fact that you were hurting so bad over me is excruciating," she says as more tears fall from her eyes.

The fact that she stills feels our connection stirs a light feeling deep inside my stomach. I reach over and wrap my arms around her. She tenses, but almost immediately after melts into my embrace.

"Did you really care about me that much?," I hear her whisper into my chest.

I squeeze her tighter.

"That much and so much more. We've been through a lot, but now that I have you back in my arms, I'm never going to let you go."

"This is so crazy," she says into my shirt. "I can'y believe this is happening."

I rub her back gently.

"I know this is a lot. A lot has happened today and I don't want you to be overwhelmed. Just know that I'm in this for the long haul. I don't care how long it takes for you to get your memories back. Hell, I don't care if you ever get them back at all. I would wait an eternity for you. I also know that I'm still just a stranger to you. You don't know our past and you don't remember everything we've been through. So right now, my main priority is just making sure you're comfortable. I have no expectations."

She sits up with a small smile.

"The fact that this is happening is incomprehensible. The fact that I have someone in my life that cares about me like that is incomprehensible. Thank you so much for everything, Tobias. Thank you for getting me out of the situation I was in. I really had no idea what I was missing out on."

"I missed you so much, Tris. I promise I won't ever let anything happen to you again. There's no way I am ever going to lose you again," I say softly.

She begins to stand up and I follow her lead. She wraps her thin arms around me and squeezes tight.

"So, what do you want to do until we have to go meet everyone for dinner?," I ask her after she lets go.

"Umm..can you tell me more stuff about you? Nothing too deep, I think we've had enough of that for one day," she says with a slight chuckle.

"Yeah, of course," I say with a laugh. "Well, I'm not a huge fan of heights."

"Really?," she asks. "So I'm guessing carnivals and ferris wheels aren't really your thing?"

My breath catches and I freeze.

"I've never been to the one here, but I've always wanted to. I feel like it's something I would enjoy," she continues.

She glances up at me.

"Are you okay?"

I cough a little.

"Yeah, sorry."

"You sure?," she presses.

I smile down at her.

"I've never been better," I say truthfully.

* * *

 **Hey guys! Wow I am sooo sorry about how long its been. 3 months is a big change from my usual once a day update. I promise I am not giving up on this story and have so many ideas to put in place. If y'all have any ideas though, please message me! I'm always open to new ones! I hope to start updating at least once a week if not twice! Please keep the reviews coming, they mean so so much to me! I love you guys and thank you so much for continuing to read A New Orleans Beginning! R &R 3**

 **-M**


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

 **D** **isclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

 **Tris POV**

I'm heading downstairs with Tobias to meet all his friends for dinner.

Er- I guess they're kinda my friends too, right?

My head's still swirling from our conversation we had earlier. How is it possible that you have someone who cares about you so deeply, yet you have no idea of their existence? And what about me? How do I feel? Can I recipricate those feelings?

I need to stop thinking. The more i contemplate everything that has happened today, the stronger the migraine starts to come on. Maybe if I get my memories back, those will go away.

"Hey," Tobias says, startling me out of my thoughts. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Why do you ask?," I answer.

"Just seemed a little out of it," he replies.

I give a little chuckle. "Yeah, sorry. It's been a heck of a day."

Th elevator doors ding and open wide and we walk out.

"You can say that again."

He glances over towards the group, who is waiting by the doors, and then gently pulls me to the side.

"I know I've done a lot of the talking so far," he whispers. "But know I'm here for you. If you ever want to talk, I'll listen."

I glance up into his deep blue eyes and it takes me back to that sidewalk. To looking up and catching his glance. To losing my breath and being frozen in his gaze. I can't believe that was only yesterday. Oh how things have changed.

"Okay," I whisper back. "Thank you."

He reaches down and squeezes my hand, and then gently pulls me in the direction of the group.

XXX

We've been at dinner for almost half an hour and I feel like a fish out of water. I don't understand why I can't interact with them like I can with Tobias. These people are supposed to be my closest friends and I feel like I'm in a room full of strangers I've never met.

Well, in some ways I guess that's exactly what they are. But it shouldn't be this hard. I should be able to carry on a conversation without feeling like I'm drowning in a sea of awkwardness.

"So Tris," Zeke says. "You've been awake for around eight months, right?"

I look at him strangely, but immediately stop and nod my head. I want a connection with these people, and giving them weird looks isn't going to help.

"Yeah, about eight. Why do you ask?"

"What's your favorite thing to do? Are there any cool movie theaters or indoor skydiving or stuff like that close by?"

"Oh yeah!," Christina pipes in. "Are there any good malls? I went to some cute shops yesterday, but I want to go to the bigger, nicest ones!"

I hesitate. I don't want their pitying looks and shocked faces.

I'm not gonna lie though.

"Honestly, I don't really know. I didn't leave the apartment much."

"Why not?," Peter I think his name is asks.

"Yeah, what have you been doing for so long?," Caleb asks.

I sigh. I just want to eat and then go back to the hotel and sleep for a solid 12 hours. Then I can have these kind of conversations.

"Matthew didn't let me leave. And when he did, he was always with me and I was covered in huge flappy hats and glasses. Even then, it was only for short periods of time. It wasn't until a couple months ago that I threatened to leave if he didn't let off. He let me get my job at Sparkys but that was about it."

"Not to be rude or anything," Cara says. "But why did't you leave? Why would put up with that?"

"Car-," Caleb starts.

"I'm just saying that it doesn't sound like her, ya know?," she interrupts.

I really don't think she was trying to offend me, but her words rub the wrong way. I know I'm going to regret it, but I can't keep the words from rolling off my tongue.

"Look, I know I may seem like the same person you used to know, I get that. But you have to understand, the Tris y'all were friends with, isn't me. I've never met her. Personality is based off of experiences, and the experiences that she went through, I have no memory of. I can gather that I used to be outspoken and strong, but I'm not. The person sitting in front of you, isn't your Tris. I didn't leave Matthew because he's all I have ever known. And I wasn't capable of walking away from the only person I thought I had, even if I should of. Even if the circumstances called for it and y'alls Tris probably would of."

I'm met with shocked eyes.

"I-," I start to apologize but am interrupted by Christina.

"No. Don't apologize. I think that in the excitement of getting you back, we forgot that the you we know is a stranger. That we really are just a bunch of strangers. You're right," she says with a small smile.

"But," she continues. "Before we leave, we HAVE to go shopping. I've missed torturing you with clothes and make up," she says with a wink.

I lighten up and let myself laugh a little.

"Okay," I concede. "I guess so."

XXX

We head back to the hotel and stop in the lobby.

"So, what's the plan?," Peter asks. "Are we gonna call it a night or go back out?"

As everyone starts discussing what we are going to do, Christina grabs my shoulder and pulls me out of ear shot of the arguing posse.

"So, I don't suppose you have any clothes with you," she says.

I mentally face palm. How did I not think of that?

"Crap, no. I'll have to go back to Matthew's apartment tomorrow to get all my stuff. I can't believe I didn't think of that."

She shakes her head.

"Don't worry about it now. You can borrow some of my stuff until then."

She glances over at our still arguing group.

"Did you want to go out again, or are you ready to head up to our rooms?," she asks me.

I sigh. This is their vacation and the last thing I want to do is drag them down. I really just want to go to bed though.

"Umm-," I begin.

"Stop there," she says. "You used to call me a human lie detector because I'm almost impossible to lie to. Back to the rooms it is," she says with a smile.

She yells a quick explanation to our group, locks her arm with mine and pulls me towards the elevators.

When we she opens the door to her room, I'm hit with the instant smell of perfume. I look around and see at least 8 bags and every shoe you could ever think of sitting neatly in a row.

"Wow," I say.

"I know," she says with a sigh. "But Zeke said we didn't have room for the rest of my stuff and made me leave it at home. Like seriously, how does he expect me to get by with only half of my bags?"

Only half?! Double wow.

"Right," I say with a chuckle.

"Here," she says as she throws a t-shirt and leggings at me. "The bathroom's right over there."

I smile at her in thanks and go to change.

Her leggings that would end a little below the knee on her go just a little above my ankles and the shirt hangs off my shoulders, but I'm grateful. Better than sleeping in my jeans.

Speaking of sleeping, am I staying in here? I honestly was hoping to stay with Tobias, but we didn't really talk about it and I don't want to just invite myself. I don't really know how comfortable I would be staying in here though. Christina has been nothing but kind, but Tobias is still the only one I feel like I can at least relax a little around. I just feel so out of place with everyone else.

I walk out of the bathroom and see Christina making up the couch. She looks up at me and smiles.

"It'll be just like it was when we were in the dorms!," she says excitedly. "Except it will only be us two. And it won't be full of exhausted teenagers. And we won't be worried about the next day of training. Hmm, so maybe not JUST like the dorms, but you get the idea," she says laughing.

She must see the look on my face because she immediately apologizes.

"Sorry, you have no idea what I'm talking about," she says with a small chuckle. "Let's head to bed. It's been a long day. I'll let number boy know your safe. We don't need him knocking down doors and waking me up. I gotta admit, I'm not the most fun person to be around when I'm tired."

I blush and agree with her. I start walking towards the couch when she walks up and wraps her arms around me. I freeze as soon as she contacts me, but end up awkwardly wrapping my arms around her.

"I really, really missed you, Tris," she says quietly. And with that, she turns the lights off and crawls into her bed. I follow her suit and lay my head down on one of the hotel pillows.

XXX

All I've wanted to do since earlier in the day was have some alone time to take a break from everything that has happened and sleep. I look over at the clock on the coffee table for the millionth time to see the bright, flashing numbers read 1:47. I sigh and roll back over. What's wrong with me? Why can't I fall asleep? I toss and turn a few more times before giving up. I'm exhausted but I know I'm not going to be able to sleep in here. I'm trying to sleep in a room with someone I have no memory of up until today and trying to convince myself that I'm fine. That I can handle being a little uncomfortable. Any other day, I probably could have done it. But not today. Not right now. Right now, all I need is comfort.

Tobias.

I sigh. Am I really going to go wake him up because I'm a little uncomfortable in my room and can't sleep?

No, that's selfish. I'm not gonna do it.

Apparently, my feet think other wise because I'm already slipping on my shoes and heading for the door.

It doesn't take me long to find room 546 and before I know it, I'm standing in front of his door.

Am I really gonna do this? I could just go back. I should just go back.

But I know I won't.

I raise my knuckles and quietly knock on his door. I wait a few seconds and knock again, a little bit louder.

I hear shuffling behind the door and the sound of the lock sliding out.

When he opens the door, he looks confused. As soon as he sees me, his eyes seem to wake up and he gently pulls me inside.

"Tris, what's wrong? Is everything okay?," he says, his words jumbled.

My heart starts to beat and I begin to panic. I should not have came here. I should not have came here.

I start to back away.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have came here."

I turn my body back towards the door, but he spins my back around.

"No, no, no! Please don't apologize. Are you okay?," he asks pushing my hair out of my face and behind my ear.

I sigh.

"I couldn't stay at Christina's. She seemed so excited so I agreed to stay, but I just couldn't do it. I felt like I was staying with some random stranger I just met. It was too uncomfortable that I couldn't sleep."

"Hey," he says gently. "No one can blame you for that. Not at all. To you, she is just a random stranger. Hell, we all are."

"I know," I say. "But I don't feel like that with you. You're the only one that has made me feel comfortable and at home."

He smiles at me and pulls me into my arms.

"I'm hoping that means you'll stay with me," he whispers in my ear.

"You don't mind, do you?," I ask into his chest.

He laughs.

"Please, I was hoping you would stay in here, but when Christina texted me, of course I understood."

I smile up at him a whisper a quiet thank you.

"Come on," he says. "You can have the bed."

I'm too exhausted to argue and let him lead me to the bed. I get in and sink under the comfortable covers.

Tobias looks down at me and kisses my head. As he turns to walk away, my arm gets a mind of its own and reaches out to grab his hand and stop him.

"Stay with me?," I ask him softly. He gives me a small smile and slips under the covers next to me. I fall into him as my exhaustion has me doing things I wouldn't normally dream of doing. He wraps his arms around me and whispers in my ear:

"Always"

* * *

 **This chapter was almost twice the length of my usual ones, but I had so much planned I couldn't find a good place to stop. Anyways...THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE CONTINUED SUPPORT! I hope to update at least once a week from now on. All the amazing reviews made me so happy that I couldn't not update. Thank you guys for continuing to read A New Orleans Beginning :) I love y'all so much:') Don't forget to R &R**

 **-M**


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

 **disclaimer/ still don't own divergent**

 **Tris POV**

The rays streaming through the curtains dance across my closed eyelids. I hum and snuggle my face into the arms surrounding me.

Wait...what?

I jerkingly swish my head to the side to see Tobias' body intertwined with my own and his chest rising up and down slowly. He looks so peaceful in his sleep. Almost younger.

My actions from last night swarm through my head and I wince. I really came banging on his door in the middle of the night because I was uncomfortable staying with Christina. Uncomfortable.

So how in the hell was I comfortable coming here?

I force my body to relax and try to sink into the mattress. Ever since I met, well re-met, these people, I've only been listening to one side of my head. The side telling me that I have no idea what I'm doing. Telling me that I'm surrounded by strangers. And you know what, it's 100% right. I have no recollection of this group of people. I don't really even have a connection with them.

But Tobias is different. I feel like I could tell you everything about him even though I don't even know his last name. I don't know the specifics, but I do know that I left everything I have ever known, just because of a stir in my gut telling me to follow him. I may never remember him or what we had, but I'm here now. He's here now. Why should I have to be hesitant around him? Why should I have to listen to that side of my head?

My thoughts are interrupted as he begins to stir beside me.

It's in this moment that I realize that I'm in the right place. Even if I never remember him, it doesn't matter. I'm done fighting the side of me who wants to open up to him.

His eyes flutter open and I'm met with deep blue orbs that make my retensed body relax.

My mind flashes back to a hand being held out to me. I look up and dark ocean eyes meet mine as he reaches down and pulls me up onto a platform.

I shake my head roughly and am flashed back into reality.

What the hell just happened?

"Hey," he says softly looking into my eyes.

I sit up without answering him and force myself to try and and relive the moment that had flashed through my mind, but to no avail.

Could that have been a memory?

"Tris?," Tobias says sitting up. "Are you o-"

"Did you ever pull me onto a platform?," I say abruptly interrupting him.

He gives me a puzzled look.

"Never mind," I say softly. "Forget it."

"Woah, woah, woah, woah. Do you think you remember something?," he says anxiously.

"Umm, I'm not really sure. There was just like a flash of something happening that seemed strange because had no recollection of it before."

His face lights up. "Do you think you could describe it to me?"

I close my eyes and think back.

"A hand is being reached out to me, trying to help me up I think, and when I look up I can see your eyes. Maybe I fell or something?"

"Are you laying down in something?," he says rushingly. "Can you tell why I'm helping you?"

His demeanor is so anxious that I can tell that this means alot to him.

I think and think but the harder I try, the more the memory drifts farther and farther away.

"No, I-er I'm trying but I- I can't see anything I..." I shake my head frustrated. "I'm sorry, I just...Ugh why can't I remember?"

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay," he says as he wraps his arms around me. "Don't try to force anything, it will just frustrate you. But Tris, this is amazing. You remembered something!," he smiles down at me with his pearly white teeth.

I let myself sink into his arms.

Definitely in the right place.

XXX

"Tobias," I say after we've finally got out of bed.

"Yeah?," he answers searching through his suitcase for his toothbrush.

I take a deep breath. I can't avoid this any longer and I know there's no way he'll let me go without him. Even with the knowledge that my instincts will most likely kick in like they did at Sparkys just yesterday, I don't think I would want to do this without him.

"I have to go back to Matthew's."

This gets his attention as his head jerks around and he's by my side in an instant with panic spilled across his features.

"Tris, please. I know more memories will come if we just give it some more time. But even if they don't, you have to understand you belong here with us. I can't lose you again, please. I-"

"Woah, Tobias calm down," I interrupt. "I'm not leaving."

I take a step closer to him and grab his hand.

"I don't know what's going to happen with my memories, but I do know that whatever it is, I'm planning on having you by my side every step of the way."

His face visibly relaxes and he puts his forehead against mine.

"But I do have to go back to Matthew's," I whisper. "I don't want anything that reminds me of him, but I would like my clothes and my laptop back."

He sighs.

"Yeah, okay I guess your right," he consents. "But I'm coming with you. No way am I letting you go by yourself."

I nod my head.

"I figured as much. I'll let you go with me as long as you let me go in alone."

"Tris-," he starts.

"This is something I need to do by myself, Tobias. Closure from a life I never should have had."

He stares at my awhile before finally nodding.

"I'll be right outside the door the whole time."

I smile up at him and whisper a quiet thank you.

* * *

We decide to take the stairs down to the lobby instead of the elevator. Well, more like me saying I need the exercise while secretly not wanting Tobias to have to deal with his claustrophobia. He gives me a knowing, grateful smile as he leads me towards the stair case.

We're met with the faces of the rest of our group as we enter the lobby.

Shoot. I honestly forgot they were here.

"Tris, what the hell?," Christina says as she runs up and engulfs me in a hug. "You scared the chiz outta me!"

I tense under her embrace.

"Hey, I'm so so sorry. I should have left a note, I just wasn't thinking clearly," I say as calmly as possible with her arms still wrapped around me.

She sighs and pulls away. "It's okay, it just scared me. I figures after awhile that you'd be with Tobias. I'm sorry, I should have given you the choice of staying with him last night, I was just so excited that you were actually here, I didn't think about how crazy this must be for you. Just can't lose ya again, ya know?," she says with a sad smile.

I return her smile and turn towards the rest of them.

"Are y'all going somewhere?," Zeke asks.

Tobias glances down at me unsure of what to say.

"I need to go get the rest of my things," I say slowly making my way to the doors.

"Wait, wait, wait. You mean, at Matthew's?," Shauna asks surprised.

"Yes," I say swiftly, basically pushing Tobias towards the doors.

"Wait!," Zeke calls out. "I'm coming with you. Uriah would roll over in his grave if he knew I didn't go and make sure that you'll be okay."

I sigh. "Okay fine, let's go."

The ride over is quiet, with the only noise being me telling Zeke where to take a turn.

My knee bounces up and down as I stare out the window. Maybe I'm more anxious than I thought I was. I close my eyes and try to relax my mind as the van comes to a stop. I remain unmoving and keep my eyes shut.

"Tris," Tobias whispers in my ear. "We're here."

I nod my head and force my eyes to open and look up at the apartment building I've lived in for the last 8 months.

I take a deep breath and open the van door. Tobias and Zeke follow me as I lead the way up the stairs and to my old apartment complex.

I turn around to face them.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go in with you?," Tobias asks with a hopeful look on his face.

"Matthew's at work, I'll be fine," I assure him.

"We'll be right here," Zeke says as he leans against the wall.

I give him a smile and unlock the door.

The once placid air feels crispy and cold. I resist the urge to shiver as I slowly enter the apartment. Not 72 hours ago, I was lying on the floor by the hand of someone who I thought was all I had.

It feels like a lifetime ago.

I shake my head and force myself up the stairs to my room. I open the door to find everything virtually untouched. Nothing looks to be altered with or moved in anyway. I move to my closet and grab my duffel bag.

I pack every single piece of clothing I have. There's no point of leaving anything, I know I'm never coming back. I look around the room in search of anything else I might want, but am met with nothing. I never really personalized it, I wouldn't have even known where to start.

I enter the bathroom and grab my toothbrush. I look around for any other necessities and grab my deodorant and shampoo. I'll just replace everything else. I walk towards the front door and set all of the bags down. I look up and glance around one last time before reaching for the handle.

I'm less than half a yard away from the door, yet my hand never reaches the cold piece of metal.

* * *

 **DunDunDunnnnnnnnnnnn. I almost never leave y'all with cliffhangers so there ya go :))) This chapter was a lot of fun to write for some reason so hopefully that will encourage me to update sooner. I'm so super sorry about the long waits. I'm awful I know. BUTTT I will try to update again on either Monday or Tuesday, maybe sooner. Hopefully. Anywayssss, I hope y'all enjoyed chapter 18! Thank y'all so much for staying with me and continuing to read A New Orleans Beginning!**

 **-M**

 **P.S / I'll give a shoutout to whoever can tell me the _To All The Boys I've Loved Before_ reference in this chapter :)**


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

 **disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent**

 _I walk towards the front door and set all of the bags down. I look up and glance around one last time before reaching for the handle._

 _I'm less then half a yard away from the door, yet my hand never reaches the cold piece of metal._

* * *

 **Tris POV**

A hand wraps its way around my wrist while another one wraps around my mouth, preventing me from speaking. A high-pitched squeal leaves my throat as I'm wrenched away from the door and dragged into the kitchen. I try and shift my head enough to where I'll be able to see my attacker, but to no avail.

I can feel the panic beginning to rise up in my chest and wrench myself back and forth viciously, trying to loosen their grasp on me. I hear a gasp of frustration as my attacker tightens their grip, and I can feel the bruises forming on my arm.

Okay, breathe Tris. Everything's gonna be fine. Just build up some confidence and my instincts will kick in, just like Tobias said. I'll be fine.

I take a deep breath and again try to get out of their grasp, just in time for whoever it is to twist my arm behind me and cause me to whimper out in pain.

It's not working. I don't know what I'm doing and my so called instincts and muscle memory isn't doing crap for me.

Alright new plan. I need to figure out who this is. I need to be able to have control of something or I'm really going to freak out. My setting points to the obvious but I refuse to believe he would do something like this.

 _He basically kidnapped you, you idiot,_ the other side of my brain says. _Why would it be bizzare for him to pull a stunt like this?_

Please don't be Matthew, please, please, please. I don't want to think he is capable of something like this. Please.

I'm thrown to the ground and land with a hard thud. I glance up and am met with cold, cruel eyes filled with anger. My heart stops.

"Matthew."

He ignores me as he reaches his foot back to kick me. His boot shoves itself into my side and I let out a yelp of pain.

"Shut up, you little rat," he barks at me. "How stupid your guard dog was to let you come here by yourself."

Tobias.

He's right outside the door and Matthew has no idea.

I open my mouth prepared to scream, but am met with a punch to the chest, leaving me breathless.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way, Bea. You should have listened to me. You should have came back with me. I've been there for you through everything. Yet, you chose to leave me for complete strangers."

"You lied to me," I croak out, trying to catch my breath.

"What do you not understand? You're mine. I kept you here with me, I kept you safe," he yells at me.

He shakes his head and leans down towards my bruised body, grabbing both of my wrists in one hand.

"We could have been happy," he says stroking my cheekbone.

"Yeah, because I would have been sooo happy living with an abusive bastard," I seethe through gritted teeth.

His face turns bright red and his features become overwhelmed with anger.

He doesn't say another word as he picks me up and throws me against the entertainment center. The glass from the television shatters in fragments all around me as i collapse to the ground and my vision begins to blacken around the edges.

"Tobias!," I scream with every ounce of strength I have in me.

Matthew's face goes slack. "What are you yelling for him for, huh? He's not here," he says trying to keep his voice steady, like he's trying to convince himself instead of me. "You don't need him. I'm the only one you will ever ne-"

"Tobias!," I yell again, my voice breaking at the last syllable.

Where is he?

"Tris!," Tobias' voice bellows out from the entry way. "Tris!"

Matthew drops my wrists and with one final vengeful-filled look, he sprints towards the fire escape.

"Tris, where are yo-Oh my God!," he says as he rushes towards the kitchen.

"Tobias," I breathe out in relief.

"Tris, my God, what in the hell happened?," Zeke says. They both open their mouths preparing to speak, but stop short when they're close enough to see my battered body.

Tobias' eyes darken as he takes in my appearance. He spins around in search of Matthew, but I stop him.

"Don't bother, he's long gone by now," I croak out.

Zeke walks towards me carefully, trying to avoid the shards of glass strung across the room and Tobias follows in suit. They crouch down on either side of me and together pick me up to set me on the couch in the living room.

The last few days seem to flash through my mind like a lightening storm, and although I can hear both of the boys trying to get my attention, I can focus on nothing else. I begin to hear a loud ringing in my ears and my hands immediately slam down on them. My body begins to shake and I can hear someone screaming in the distance. The screaming goes on and on and is really starting to give me a headache when I realize no one else is here.

I'm the one screaming.

"Tris! Tris! It's okay! You're okay! Tris, please you need to breathe!"

I want to listen but I have no control. Never do I remember being as scared as I am now. All the talk of me being some brave, courageous girl is crap. I'm nothing more than a damaged and scarred teenager that is scared out of her mind.

I feel warm, strong arms wrap around me and I'm pulled into an embrace.

My mind slowly begins to clear and I melt into his arms.

"Tobias," I whisper.

"Shhhh," he says to me softly. "Just let me hold you, okay?"

He leads me back to the couch and helps me sit down. I must have gotten up when I was freaking out.

"Where's Zeke?," I ask looking around.

"I told him to take your bags down to the van while I try to calm you down," he says, tucking my hair behind my ears.

I sigh.

"I don't know what happened. It was like I had no control over what I was doing. I d-," I stutter out.

"Shhhh," Tobias says again softly, interrupting me. "You had a panic attack, Tris. You've been through hell and you've been bottling it up for months. The events of the last few days probably triggered a sort of emotional break down."

I nod my head slowly. I can't really argue with that.

"Do you think you could tell me what happened?"

I sigh.

"I had just finished bringing everything downstairs," I start. "I looked around and then reached for the doorknob, but someone grabbed me from behind and dragged me in here. I tried to call for you, but I wasn't able to for another couple of minutes. He was too strong and I wouldn't feed into what he wanted me too. The more I disagreed with him, the angrier he got."

Tobias shakes his head.

"I'm gonna kill him," he seethes.

He looks up at me.

"I'm so sorry, Tris," he whispers looking into my eyes. "I promise, something like this is not going to happen again. I should have known. I shouldn't have let you come in by yourself. I sh-"

"Tobias, stop, please," I interrupt him. "It was my choice to come in alone. None of this is your fault."

He sighs and shakes his head.

"I just need you to be okay. Tris, you were gone for almost a year. I lived a year of my life engulfed in a state of anguish and darkness because I thought you were dead and I was never going to see you again. Now that I have you, I'm not going to let you get hurt again," he says, his lips against my forehead. "I promise."

I snuggle deeper into his embrace when I begin to feel sharp pains in my arms and legs. I think the panic attack distracted me from realizing how battered my body really is.

"Maybe we should go to a hospital," Tobias says, as if reading my thoughts.

I shake my head.

"No. I don't want to go to a hospital. The cuts aren't deep enough for stitches and there's not much they can do for bruises."

"Are you su-"

"I'm sure, Tobias. Can we just go back to the hotel please?"

He sighs again and nods.

"Okay, let's go."

* * *

 **And chapter 19 is doneee:) So I made an Instagram account to post extra update info and sneak peaks. I ALSO AM STARTING A DO-ABLE SCHEDULE! So check out _madwrites to know what that is and follow! :) I love y'all, thank you for all the support and kind words! Let me know what you think of this chapter. R &R**

 **-M**

 **P.S. no one guessed the _To All The Boys I Loved Before Reference_ yettttttttt**


	21. Chapter 20

**disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent :/**

 **Chapter 20**

 _"Maybe we should go to a hospital," Tobias says, as if reading my thoughts._

 _I shake my head._

 _"No. I don't want to go to a hospital. The cuts aren't deep enough for stitches and there's not much they can do for bruises."_

 _"Are you su-"_

 _"I'm sure, Tobias. Can we just go back to the hotel please?"_

 _He sighs again and nods._

 _"Okay, let's go."_

* * *

 **Tris POV**

Tobias refuses to let me take the stairs up to the hotel room, so we ride up in the elevator with him squeezing my hand.

He opens the door for me and drop myself on the bed as soon as I walk in. My body doesn't hurt as much anymore but I can feel a migraine coming on full force. All I really want to do is close all of the blinds, ignore everything that just happened, and go to sleep.

I doubt that will happen though. I went from feeling crushed in a situation I didn't really want to be in for a long time, but I mean I was okay, to being physically wounded by the guy I lived with for 8 months.

I close my eyes, but as soon as I do, I can see myself being thrown against the entertainment center and glass fragment flying around me in slow motion.

My breath catches. I played it off back at the apartment when I was with Tobias, but it feels like a sort of cloud is settling over me. The thing is, it almost feels familiar. Which makes no sense, Matthew only hit me that one time before this, right? This feeling of pain and fear shouldn't be so familiar.

"I don't want to stay here anymore."

My previously closed eyes fly open and I sit up slowly. I was so lost in thought I kind of forgot I wasn't alone. Which is strange because Tobias' presence is enough to set my skin on fire.

What does he mean he doesn't want to stay here anymore? The hotel is pretty far from Matthew's apartment and the security measures are top notch. Plus, I highly doubt he would try something with Tobias being so close. Then again, I don't really know who I'm dealing with.

"Tobias, I-," I try to start.

"No, Tris. I want to go home," he interrupts me. "I want to take you to your home. I can't stand being here knowing that piece of-"

"Tobias," I beg. "I will not be the reason your vacation is cut short. I'll be fine, I promise."

As I say it, I can tell he's not convinced. Hell, I didn't even convince myself. Any attachment I had to this city if fading quickly.

Extremely quickly.

"I don't think you understand. This "vacation" was not something I was on board with from the start. I didn't want to come. The only reason it was planned in the first place was to try and distract me and get me out of the funk I'd been stuck in because you were gone. But now," he says joining me on the bed.

He runs his thumb across my cheek and grabs my hand. "Now, you're here. I have no reason for distraction. Let me take you back to Chicago where there's no Matthew. You'll be able to go to your hometown and maybe even gain some of your memories back."

I know for a fact that I won't feel safe until I'm far away from here. But I also know that it's incredibly selfish to cut everyone's trip short.

"What about everyone else? I would be messing up their vacation as well," I get out.

"Tris, seriously? You were just beaten and thrown across a room by basically your kidnapper. You had a panic attack for crying out loud. You need to get out of here. As for everyone else, they can stay here if they want to, but I know they won't. They are just as happy to have you back as I am. Their only concern will be for your well being."

I sigh.

"Please," he begs me.

He's right. I know he's right. It's not healthy and it's not safe for me to be here. So what is holding me back?

"You're right, I know you are. I think I'm just scared. Scared that I'm going to go to Chicago and not recognize a thing. Scared that I'm not going to get my memories back," I whisper shaking my head. "Why would you want that around? Dealing with someone that maybe you used to care about, but is now a complete different person? The person y'all have told me about is nothing like me. I'm not strong or brave or confident. I couldn't do anything against Matthew. Nothing," I say as I feel a tear roll down my cheek. "I'm not your girl."

I keep my head down and look away.

"Tris," he says softly

No, No, No, No.

"Tris," he says again.

What does he not understand? I'm not Tris and I never will be. Tris wouldn't be sitting next to this gorgeous man crying and refusing to look at him. At least I don't think she would. Let's be real, I know nothing about her.

"Beatrice Callilope Prior"

This gets my attention and I meet my tear-stained eyes with his deep blue ones. My middle name's Calliliope?

"You think you were always some superstar who was never beaten down and never felt hopeless? That you were always happy-go-lucky and confident? Because let me tell you, you weren't. Not even a little," he says holding my gaze. "You broke down, you cried, you felt weak. You wore a robe of fraud confidence. You struggled with self-confidence and you struggled with believing in yourself just like you are right now. But, you always stood up for what you believed in and you never let people push you around. You were brave because you were selfless. You think that you're not my girl? My Tris? In the break room with Matthew, you stood up for yourself because you believed that what he did to you was wrong. You've been walking up and down five flights of stairs because you know that I don't like elevators. You are worrying about ruining a vacation of people you just met over your own safety. So don't tell me that I wouldn't want you around. With or without your memories, it would be an honor for anyone to have you around," he finishes never once looking away.

I gape at the amazing human being in front of me. What the hell did old me do to deserve him?

"Okay?," he asks, prompting me to speak.

"Okay," I say with a small ghost of a smile

* * *

We're all spread out in the airport waiting area the next day awaiting our flight to Chicago. Tobias was right when he said that everyone would come back with us. As bad as I still feel about cutting their trip short, they seem to not have the slightest of a problem with it.

I gave them a snippet of what had happened because I thought I owed them at least that, but kept it vague. I was hardly able to sleep last night. Every time I closed my eyes, I would relive the whole thing. Talking about it was even worse, so I kept it to a minimum.

"Y'all, the jet's here!," Zeke shouts at us, jumping out of his chair.

"I'm dating a six year old," Shauna mumbles as she wheels in suit of him, causing me to chuckle.

Tobias helps me carry my bags as we make our way to board. I look around and see our group do the same.

I really haven't talked much to anyone except Tobias and most of them still give me strange looks, like they are preparing for me to just disappear. Caleb's are by far the worst, though. It's still crazy to believe that I have a brother. The problem is, I feel no connection to him. He's the only blood family I have left, yet he still feels like a random stranger off the street.

Cara walks up to me and gives me a smile, interrupting my thoughts.

"Are you excited to go home?," she asks me.

I nod my head. "I am. It's crazy not knowing anything of a place that you lived in for 16 years. I'm just hoping it will trigger some memories."

We set our bags down and walk up the boarding dock.

"I'm sure they will. Being back in Chicago will raise your chance of remembrance drastically," she says as we get settled in our seats. "I think just walking through all of the factions will jog your memory at least a little bit."

The pilot comes over the speaker giving a run through of all emergency procedures and tell us to put on our seat belts for take off. I glance over at Tobias and through his tough exterior, can see the characteristics of pure panic.

I reach over and intertwine my fingers with his.

"Hey, look at me," I say gently.

His frantic deep blue eyes flutter up to meet mine.

"I was thinking that we could use the time on the plane to describe Chicago. I don't remember anything of how it looks like or how we lived. Tell me about my house and how we met. Tell me what my favorite food was and where I went to school. How did I learn to fight? Who taught me? And Cara said something about walking through all of the factions. Tell me what factions are." I say trying to get his mind on anything but the fact that we will be airborn at anytime.

He sighs and turns to face me.

"It's going to be a lot to take in. The Chicago you grew up in is nothing like it is now and is nothing like New Orleans," he says shaking his head. "It might help to hear everyone's contribution."

"Guys, we need to fill Tris is on the basics of the faction system and a specific outline of her past," he says giving the group a pointed look.

Specific? What's that supposed to mean?

"Wait, what do you mean by specific?," I ask confused.

I look around and see that no one will make eye contact with me.

"Let's just say that there's sections of your past that need not be discussed just yet," Christina says after a minute of silence. "Don't worry about that now. We'll get to it later."

"Yeah, for now Welcome to The Life Of Tris 101 taught by your very own Zeke Pedrad," Zeke says with a goofy smile.

I chuckle. I mean let's be real, how different could life have really been?

* * *

 **I'm actually extremely excited for the next chapter because it's one I have been planning since I first started this story. So YAY. Thank you guys so much for all of the support I have gotten up to this point. I think there might be something wrong with my PM's though so if i haven't answered, I am super sorry. Try and send your message again and maybe it will let me reply this time.**

 **In other news, someone correctly guessed the _To All The Boys I've Loved Before_ reference and I was SUPER excited about it. Congrats to Wrenlovesreading ! You're awesome! :)**

 **Don't forget to leave a review of what you think and what you think should happen next! I love y'all**

 **-M**


	22. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer/ I do not own any rights to Divergentttt**

 ***this chapter is basically a recap of last chapter but in Tobias' POV!***

 **Chapter 21**

 _ **Tris POV**_

 _"It's going to be a lot to take in. The Chicago you grew up in is nothing like it is now and is nothing like New Orleans," he says shaking his head. "It might help to hear everyone's contribution."_

 _"Guys, we need to fill Tris is on the basics of the faction system and a specific outline of her past," he says giving the group a pointed look._

 _Specific? What's that supposed to mean?_

 _"Wait, what do you mean by specific?," I ask confused._

 _I look around and see that no one will make eye contact with me._

 _"Let's just say that there's sections of your past that need not be discussed just yet," Christina says after a minute of silence. "Don't worry about that now. We'll get to it later."_

 _"Yeah, for now Welcome to The Life Of Tris 101 taught by your very own Zeke Pedrad," Zeke says with a goofy smile._

 _I chuckle. I mean let's be real, how different could life have really been?_

* * *

 **Tobias POV**

I know what she's thinking as soon as we enter the hotel.

"Tris, you're out of your mind if you think I'm letting you take the stairs like that. I can handle 30 seconds in an elevator," I tell her, giving her a pointed look.

"Tobias, I'm fine, really. We can take the sta-"

"Shhhh," I say interrupting her and nudging her towards the elevator.

She shakes her head and mutters under her breath but doesn't argue with me.

The ride up to our floor is sickening and feels crammed, even with Tris doing her best to comfort me. I basically drag her out as soon as the metal doors open and lead her towards our room.

As soon as I unlock the door, she rushes inside and plops down on the bed. I walk in and see her lying on her back with her eyes closed. She may think that I believed her little charade at the apartment complex, but she forgets that I know her a lot better than she thinks I do. She lied to me time and time again before I thought she was gone and I got to know her tactics extremely well. How would she know that though?

I glance over at her again and see a troubled look on her beautiful face. She's hurting, I know she is, but she doesn't trust me enough to tell me about it yet.

Yet.

I feel a pang of pain in my chest when I think about that. It's only been two days and I know that that's not nearly enough time, but I want her to be able to trust me with anything. With everything. I want to be able to grab her hand at any time and tell her how much I love her. How there's nothing I wouldn't do for her.

Damn it, I just want her to be comfortable and not be filled with so much built up fear. She's been through enough suffering for a lifetime and I'll be damned if I'm going to let Matthew put another hand on her.

I should have done something while I had the chance. Now that bastard could be anywhere and I have no way of finding him unless he comes after her again.

I have to get her out of here.

"I don't want to stay here anymore."

Her previously closed eyes fly open and she sits up slowly. She looks at me with confused features.

"Tobias, I-,"

"No, Tris. I want to go home," I interrupt her, not giving her even a second to speak. She needs to understand that I cant-that I won't let her be hurt again, no matter what I have to do. "I want to take you home. I can't stand being here knowing that piece of-"

"Tobias," she says, almost pleadingly. "I will not be the reason your vacation is cut short. I'll be fine, I promise."

Is she insane? She really is my Tris, memories or no memories. She's valuing a vacation over her safety, for goodness sakes.

"I don't think you understand. This "vacation" was not something I was on board with from the start. I didn't want to come. The only reason it was planned in the first place was to try and distract me and get me out of the funk I'd been stuck in because you were gone. But now," I say walking towards her slowly and joining her on the bed.

I run my thumb across her cheek and grab her hand without even thinking about it.

Old habits die hard.

"Now, you're here," I continue. "I have no reason for distraction. Let me take you back to Chicago where there's no Matthew. You'll be able to go to your hometown and maybe even gain some of your memories back."

I look into her beautiful blue-grey eyes that I've missed with everything in me. I just don't understand why she would want to stay here.

"What about everyone else? I would be messing up their vacation as well," she stutters out.

Is she serious right now? Her natural urge for selflessness is still there, I'll giver her that, but for once I need her to think of her own safety first. We can't fall back into what we used to be in. I won't let her seep into that dark of place ever again.

"Tris, seriously? You were just beaten and thrown across a room by basically your kidnapper. You had a panic attack for crying out loud. You need to get out of here. As for everyone else, they can stay here if they want to, but I know they won't. They are just as happy to have you back as I am. Their only concern will be for your well being."

She sighs and looks away

"Please," I beg her. I'm not going to be able to rest knowing that she's not safe here. I know he will try something as long as she's still in New Orleans. I just don't get what is holding her back. And I have a feeling it's more than just cutting our trip short.

"You're right, I know you are. I think I'm just scared. Scared that I'm going to go to Chicago and not recognize a thing. Scared that I'm not going to get my memories back," she whispers shaking her head. "Why would you want that around? Dealing with someone that maybe you used to care about, but is now a complete different person? The person y'all have told me about is nothing like me. I'm not strong or brave or confident. I couldn't do anything against Matthew. Nothing," she says as a tear rolls down her cheek. "I'm not your girl."

All I can do is gape at her. I was hoping that without her memories, she wouldn't still have these confidence issues or still question my feelings for her. It looks like Matthew did more damage in the months her had with her than I originally thought. But still, how in the world could she honestly believe that I wouldn't want her if she couldn't remember. I've told her over and over again, even in just these two days, how much she meant to me.

Maybe that's the problem. I've told her how much I've missed her and how much pain I've been in because of her "death" She thinks that if she never gets her memory back, that she won't be good enough. That she won't be the same girl I was so messed up over. That the only reason I would stick around is if she could remember what we used to have.

He really messed with her head.

"Tris," I says softly

She shakes her head and ignores me.

"Tris," I say again.

I don't want to scare her off but I don't know how else to comfort her without pulling her into my arms. I need to reason with her, but I also need to know that she listening to how much I mean every word.

Wait.

I wonder if she remembers her middle name.

And Matthew never called her Tris.

Maybe if I try a different tactic...

"Beatrice Callilope Prior," I say anxiously.

This gets her attention and I'm met with tear-stained eyes.

"You think you were always some superstar who was never beaten down and never felt hopeless? That you were always happy-go-lucky and confident? Because let me tell you, you weren't. Not even a little," I say holding her gaze. "You broke down, you cried, you felt weak. You wore a robe of fraud confidence. You struggled with self-confidence and you struggled with believing in yourself just like you are right now. But, you always stood up for what you believed in and you never let people push you around. You were brave because you were selfless. You think that you're not my girl? My Tris? In the break room with Matthew, you stood up for yourself because you believed that what he did to you was wrong. You've been walking up and down five flights of stairs because you know that I don't like elevators. You are worrying about ruining a vacation of people you just met over your own safety. So don't tell me that I wouldn't want you around. With or without your memories, it would be an honor for anyone to have you around," I finish still staring into her eyes.

She gapes at me, almost in surprise.

Come on, Tris. Come on. Let me take you home. Come on.

"Okay?," I ask, prompting her to speak.

"Okay," she says with a small ghost of a smile

* * *

The next day, everyone I came to New Orleans with is spread out around the waiting area. I knew as soon as I told them that Tris was going back, that they would be joining us.

I glance around and see them all involved in different conversations and then glance down at Tris, who's sitting just to the right of me. Now that I think about it, she hasn't really had too much interaction with the rest of the group. She still looks anxious when we are around everyone and they all still give her nervous looks, like they're ready for her to disappear at any moment. I can't really say much about that though, hell I still give her those looks when she's not paying attention.

"Y'all, the jet's here!," Zeke shouts at us, jumping out of his chair.

"I'm dating a six year old," Shauna mumbles as she wheels in suit of him, causing Tris to chuckle.

I smile down at her and help her grab all of her bags. As we make our way to the boarding docks, Cara approaches her and asks her if she's excited. I smile to myself and keep walking. I really hope she begins to connect with everyone else. I know how important they all were to her.

Well, most of them that is.

We drop off our bags and begin to board. I can feel the panic begin to set in, but it's halted by a new panic as my ears turn back into Tris' and Cara's conversation.

"Being back in Chicago will raise your chance of remembrance drastically," Cara says as we get settled in our seats. "I think just walking through all of the factions will jog your memory at least a little bit."

We haven't told Tris about anything from Chicago. Not about the factions and certainly not about the war.

No. Not yet. There's no way we can tell her about that. It will just freak her out and confuse her even more.

The pilot comes over the speaker and the panic of being on a plane begins to set in again.

I put my seat belt on and pull it as tight as it can possibly go. I grit my teeth and squeeze my fists, trying my best to be discrete.

I feel her small hands reach over and intertwine with mine.

"Hey, look at me," she says softly.

I shift my eyes to meet hers, teeth still gritted.

"I was thinking that we could use the time on the plane to describe Chicago. I don't remember anything of how it looks like or how we lived. Tell me about my house and how we met. Tell me what my favorite food was and where I went to school. How did I learn to fight? Who taught me? And Cara said something about walking through all of the factions. Tell me what factions are," she says trying to distract me.

I sigh and turn to face her.

How in the hell am I supposed to explain everything to her while leaving out the war and the death and the pain she went through? I don't want to trigger anything with answers she isn't ready for.

"It's going to be a lot to take in. The Chicago you grew up in is nothing like it is now and is nothing like New Orleans," I say shaking my head. "It might help to hear everyone's contribution."

There's no way I'm going to be able to do this by myself and not forget anything. It be my luck that I'd forget to tell her about Evelyn and then Evelyn lose her crap on her as soon as she realizes Tris is alive.

Oh crap.

Evelyn IS going to lose her crap once she realizes Tris is still alive.

"Guys, we need to fill Tris is on the basics of the faction system and a specific outline of her past," I say ignoring my previous thoughts and giving everyone a pointed look.

They seem to understand what I'm implying because I'm met with subtle head nods.

"Wait, what do you mean by specific?," Tris asks confused.

I wince and look away trying to think of something to say that wouldn't be lying but also not flat out telling her what's going on.

"Let's just say that there's sections of your past that need not be discussed just yet," Christina says after a minute of silence. "Don't worry about that now. We'll get to it later."

"Yeah, for now Welcome to The Life Of Tris 101 taught by your very own Zeke Pedrad," Zeke says with a goofy smile.

I roll my eyes and take a deep breath. Here we go.

* * *

 **Wow okay this chapter is actually extremely long for me. So...whoop whoop! Haha, let me know what you guys think. Do you like me switching POV's or would you rather me stick with just Tris'? Personally, I think it's more difficult to write in Tobias' POV but I really like how this chapter turned out. Also, if you are not following my instagram for this yet it's _madwrites ! I have my update schedule posted on there as well as exact times that chapters will be up! Thank you guys for all of the support! I'm super excited for Tris to get back to Chicago. Can y'all guess who will be the most surprised to see her back? The angriest? Let me know! I love y'all**

 **-M**


	23. AUTHOR'S NOTE (im back (: )

**AUTHORS NOTE**

Wow.

Hi guys. I don't even know where to begin. It's been months since I've last updated & I apologize profusely. Life's been crazy and every time I tried to update, writers block hit me like a brick. I do want to say that I **AM NOT** abandoning this story. I love the story line and have lots of plans as soon as I get Tris back to Chicago. I'm planning on rereading it myself to get back in the grove and then a new chapter should be up by Sunday afternoon! Thank you guys so much for the continued support and love through my absence. I love y'all so much. If you have any ideas or recommendations, please PM me. I'm open to just bout anything :) much love

-M


	24. Chapter 22

**disclaimer/ still do not own divergent :/**

 **Chapter 22**

 _"It's going to be a lot to take in. The Chicago you grew up in is nothing like it is now and is nothing like New Orleans," he says shaking his head. "It might help to hear everyone's contribution."_

 _"Guys, we need to fill Tris is on the basics of the faction system and a specific outline of her past," he says giving the group a pointed look._

 _Specific? What's that supposed to mean?_

 _"Wait, what do you mean by specific?," I ask confused._

 _I look around and see that no one will make eye contact with me._

 _"Let's just say that there's sections of your past that need not be discussed just yet," Christina says after a minute of silence. "Don't worry about that now. We'll get to it later."_

 _"Yeah, for now Welcome to The Life Of Tris 101 taught by your very own Zeke Pedrad," Zeke says with a goofy smile._

 _I chuckle. I mean let's be real, how different could life have really been?_

* * *

 **Tris POV**

"I guess we should probably start with the factions?," Zeke asks, glancing around at the others.

He's met with nods and looks of affirmation from everyone in the jet.

"Fractions?", I ask confused.

What's fractions have to do with anything?

"No, Factions. The biggest difference between Chicago and New Orleans is that Chicago has, er.. used to have, factions. The city was broke into five different groups, each having their own individual rules and characteristics. Everyone has a faction, except for the ones who were either A) kicked out for a crime, B) failed initiation, or C) were asked to leave for reasons pertaining to their usefulness to said faction. Anyone who does not have a faction was considered factionless," Zeke says.

I know that I must look as lost as I feel from the looks being sent my way.

"So people just lived in cliques?," I ask.

"In someways, I guess they could be looked at like cliques," Tobias answers. "They were more in-depth than that though. These factions were our life system. No one had ever knew any different."

"Ooo Ooo, let me explain what they all were!," Christina squeals next to me.

I give her a strange glance, but it does nothing to stop her excitement.

"Each faction had one certain value that they believed was the most important. Candor were the honest. They believed honesty and truth could solve any problem. The-"

"They were a bunch of loud mouths with no filters," Zeke interrupts her. "Most definitley the most annoying faction," shooting Christina a goofy smirk.

She rolls her eyes and throws a neck pillow at him.

"Oh, shut up. Anyways, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," she says glaring at Zeke. "Candor valued honesty and were the lawyers. They only wore white and black."

"Wait, so whatever group your in determines, not only what you value, but what you wear?," I ask dumdfoundly.

It's like Matthew on steroids.

"They determine alot more than that," Shuana says. "Looking back on it, Dauntless felt free, but but after everything that's happened, it's easy to see how restricted we were."

I'm so confused.

"Let's just focus on explaining the factions before we get into anything else," Cara states.

"Okay, so the next faction is E-," Christina begins.

"Wait," Caleb interrupts. "Why doesn't everyone explain the faction that they've actually lived in? That way it's more precise information and gives Tris the opportunity to learn about us at the same time."

Everyone nods their heads in agreement.

I continue to sit here completely lost. None of this is making the slightest bit of sense.

"Another faction is Erudite," Cara begins. "They valued logic and believed knowledge could solve any problem. They were our doctors, scientists, and teachers. Their clothes were mostly blue."

Mostly everyone goes on to explain another faction. Shauna tells me about Amity, the farmers, ever though she never lived there. They valued peace and kindness. Zeke tells me about Dauntless and their value of courage and bravery, they were the police and protectors and Tobias tells me about Abnegation. They valued selflessness and were in charge of the government.

The only one I haven't heard from is Peter. I remember him saying something about not having his memory either. I glance up at him to see if he's confused as I am, but he's staring out the window. All this information must not be new to him.

"That's a lot to remember," I say as I look back towards the group. "You all are so knowledgeable of every faction even though you've only lived in one."

"Well, that's not exactly true," Cara starts. "Whatever faction you are born into, you stay in until you're 16 years old. At 16, you take a test called the amplitude test. It's supposed to give you the idea of which faction you are meant to be in. Once a year, the city held a Choosing Ceremony. Each 16 year old gets the chance to choose if they would rather stay in their faction with their family, or change to a different one. Most listen to whatever their test tells them, but overall they make their own decision. They only thing is the factions weren't exactly friendly. If you chose to leave, you're not supposed to contact your family again. All ties are to be cut and all of your devotion should be put into building a new life in your new faction."

I close my eyes and try to picture a world like this. How are you supposed to make that big of a decision at only 16? What if you choose wrong?

"What if you realize your new faction isn't what you want? Can't you go back to your old one? Or is there another choosing ceremony?," I ask.

I'm met with a series of head shakes.

Tobias is the one to answer me this time.

"If you decide you don't like your new faction, you have two options. Either suck it up and stay with your faction, or leave and become factionless."

"Well, what's so bad about that? Then you could live by your own rules right? You could value whatever you wanted," I state.

"Being factionless was taught to be looked at as being worse than death. It was taught that without a faction, you were close to worthless."

What?

That's bizarre. This whole system is bizarre.

I guess it also make sense though. Each faction has it's own jobs and believes that differ from the others. That means that each of them has important jobs that the others rely on. It seems like it should be flawless.

"So what faction was I apart of?"

Caleb goes to answer me, but Tobias is quick to cut him off.

"What faction do you think you would be a part of?," he asks me with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Even just from hearing the discriptitions."

I close my eyes and think.

I know for sure not Amity. From what they told my about myself, farming and laughing all day doesn't really seem like my cup of tea. There's no way I'm truthful enough to have been candor, even now. That leave Erudite, Abnegation, and Dauntless.

"I'm going to say Dauntless just because of everything y'all have said about the old me. The being trained in combat and all. Had I not known any of that, I probably wouldn't have been able to choose between Erudite, Abnegation, and Dauntless," I say.

I'm met with looks of shock.

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner," Zeke bellows has he jumps up and down earning a chuckle from me and a punch from Shauna.

"Sit down you big goof," she says laughing,

"You were born in Abnegation but transferred to Dauntless when you were 16," Christina says to me. "But the thing is, when you took your amputide test, you got Erudite, Abnegation, and Dauntless as a result. The test should have only allowed one result, it rarely allowed two. Three was unheard of."

I feel my brow furrow,

"Was that a bad thing? It just meant that I valued all of their beliefs, right?"

"It made you dangero-," Shauna starts but Tobias interrupts her immediately

"It just put you into less than great situation," he says curtly, sending Shauna a look telling her to keep her mouth shut. "Some people in the city were threatened by people who could easily fit into more than one faction. Don't worry about that now, we'll get to it later."

"So," Christina says. "Any of that ringing a bell?"

I focus on all of the newly found information swirling through my head, searching for one bit of recognition, but am met with nothing. I shake my head slowly.

"Unfortunately no," I say with a sigh.

If I could just remember something, just one thing, it would make this a whole lot easier.

"Well, don't stress about it now. Having all of that information is a good start point," Caleb says with a smile.

I try to smile back at him, but can tell it doesn't reach my eyes. I was hoping the more information I got, the more of a connection I could build with them. I can feel that hope start drifting away as I stare at the man who's supposed to be my brother.

But there's still nothing. I sigh again.

"So how did you guys get to come on this trip with people from different factions?," I ask, trying to get my mind of lost memories.

Everyone's glace moves to Tobias and soon mine follows.

"After you made it into Dauntless, the city broke out into a war. I'm not going to go into it right now, I don't see how it could really help at the moment. The main thing about the was is that the faction system is no longer in place and that it's how you ended up with Matthew."

I continue to stare at him, waiting for him to keep going.

He sighs.

"That's all I'm going to say for now, Tris. I promise I will go into more details later, but for now, I thinks that's enough information. We've thrown a concept we've learned out entire lives at you in less than an hour," he says with a soft smile.

I decide not to argue with him. Besides, he's right. My brain my explode if any more info is thrown at me.

Everyone seems to take that as their cue to leave the semi-circle we've formed and head back to their seats. I squeeze in to the seat next to Tobias. He looks down at me with a half smile.

"How are you doing?," he asks softly.

I close my eyes.

"It was alot," I admit. "But, I'm hoping that information plus being back in Chicago will be enough to stir at least a few memories up."

He nods his head.

"Don't stress about it too much. And if you have any other questions, feel free to ask anytime."

I smile and nod at him. "How far away are we?"

He glances down at his watch.

"Probably not too long. We should be getting closer."

I nod my head again, and lead my head back.

* * *

 **Hi frndz, I'm not dead! I wanted to say I'm so so sorry for how long its been. But I'm back, hopefully for good. Today is actually one year to the day that I published this story. If you've stuck around, I just want to say thank you so so much. It means the absolute world to me. Next chapter will be in Chicago , and I'm thinking a certain someone might not be too thrilled to hear Tris is still alive ;) Let me know what y'all think and any idea you have. I'm all ears. Love you guys so much**

 **-M**


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